• Going bald unexpectedly can be incredibly shocking. One minute you have a hairbrush and everything is fine. And then, just like yesterday’s fried rice, everything turns sour, and you have to donate your hairbrush to charity. It sucks! Although we have been groomed to see hair as everything — I mean, there’s a reason it’s called “Good hair day” and not “Good nose day” — a lot of men are coming to terms with the fact that their hairlines will never return from war. Some are confident that with their beard, they might be able to pass for a young Lynxx, while others are scared that their vase-like heads will have them looking like Lord Voldermort. We caught up with 4 Nigerian men on going bald in their early twenties and finding hope in a barren land. 

    Osione, 27

    Omo, I’m still traumatized! My hair loss started from the middle of my head, and with thick hair surrounding a massive hole, my head looked and felt like a football stadium. I tried to hack it for a while, but what can you do when nature decides to show you pepper? I’m not a part of team #BeardGang so the whole process was pretty daunting for me, as I was worried I would look like a baby. Anyways, one day I gave up and cut it all off. Enough was enough. Because I’m a gym rat, I don’t look like a baby. People think I’m a bouncer, and one chick told me I could pass for a dark-skinned Vin Diesel. Then again, women lie a lot when they want to smash. 

    Kunle, 24

    I always tell people my hairline packed up and left like a thief in the night. I can’t even remember the year or how it happened. All I know is that I was at the barbershop one day and the barber was really struggling to “carve” my hairline. He looked like he was in distress writing a further math exam or something, so I just told him to shave it all off. The look of relief on his face was the confirmation I needed to leave my struggle hair behind. 

    These days, my bald head has become my signature look. I can’t even imagine myself with hair because it would probably look like one of those filters on the internet. It’s amazing when you actually feel cold water touching your head. By the way, I changed barbers sha. My old barber struggling with my hair was indicative of his limited skills, and even though that didn’t matter to me anymore, I only want the best of the best touching my head.

    Clinton, 29

    I love being bald! Do you know how nice it is not to bother about what haircut you’re going to get next? We act like we don’t care about these things but just like women, our hair is important to us. If not, why would you spend almost forty minutes getting a “shape up”? 

    For some people, it’s their hairline taking one or two steps back. In my case, it started when I turned 20 and began noticing bald spots on my head. It looked like rats were feasting on my hair while I slept. By the time I noticed the third spot, I went to see my barber and he cut everything off. Did I mention that girls love my bald head? They like to kiss and rub it like it’s one of those magic 8-balls, and I like it too. It’s therapeutic for all involved. 

    Caleb

    I started losing my hair at 14 and by 17, it became really noticeable as my forehead had become prominent, and my hairline had receded seriously on both sides. I grew up with really black and curly hair, so it felt like I was losing something central to my persona. Have I accepted it? – Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Losing your hair, like a lot of other life events, is a huge change. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to talk about it. Sometimes I’m angry that it happened, and other times, I’m angry that it happened so early. I’m lucky I have a full beard, so it fits perfectly. But would I change it if I had the chance? Yes, I definitely would. 

  • Choosing to shave your head a.k.a the baldie look can be exciting and challenging at the same time. But before shaking your ass to the salon or barber shop, here are just some facts you’re better off knowing.

    Take it from a resident baldie.

    1. Reactions from others

    Prepare an auto-response, because you will get the “WHY?” more times than you’re ready to answer. Some people will also carry the matter on their head; they can’t understand why a woman will choose to go low “like a man.”

    2. The sun hits different

    It’ll be as if your village people are cooking food on your head. Now that there’s no hair to shield you from all the elements, you will feel the scorching sun ten times more than the next person. Getting a scarf or sun hat might help.

    3. It is not for the weak

    This is where you need the armour of confidence and breastplate of bad-bishness. You will be talking to someone and all they can focus on is your shaved head. Also, there’s the occasional cool and not-so-cool stares from strangers. Well, baldie don’t care.

    4. The shape of your head might not be pleasing

    Just prepare to see a sacrificial egg in the mirror.

    5. Your facial features will be accentuated

    Everything will be brought to the fore – lips, eyes, nose, brows and even ears.

    6. People will want to feel your head

    Ahn ahn, fresh head. Watch out for mischievous friends, Nigerian conductors and bike riders that might give you a smack or two before you can process what just happened.

    7. The breeze will hit different

    You can be having a bad day, and then then one mad breeze will caress your bald head and make you forget every stressor. That shit hits different, especially if your hair was natural and thick. Freedom!

    8. Wigs, scarves and hoops are your best friends

    Before they say you’re a witch and you killed your man, splurge on some accessories. Depending on your reason for going bald, you could experiment with jewelry, scarves and wigs that’ll complement your look as well. No harm in switching things up! May they not snatch your wig and embarrass your ancestors sha.

    9. You will still need maintenance

    You thought you’d just shave your head and that will be it? Girrrrl, you’ll still need to care for your scalp if you want things healthy over there. This is because of the direct exposure to dust, dirt, sand and other elements.

    10. You will miss your hair on some days

    Especially if that’s all you’ve known your whole life. You could just randomly forget and want to flip your hair before realising, “Woah, there’s nothing there.” LOL!