Whether you do it in your father’s village or it’s a destination wedding in Dubai, no Nigerian wedding can be complete if the menu doesn’t include these dishes.
Small chops
It’s written in the Nigerian constitution that you must serve small chops as a starter at your wedding.
Jollof rice
We’ve not done proper research but it might be a criminal offense not to serve Jollof rice at your wedding. In fact, it’s just unheard of. And if it’s not firewood Jollof it doesn’t count.
Moin-moin
What’s jollof rice without spicy leaf wrapped moin-moin to go with it?
Fried rice
A standard plate of Nigerian wedding food has Jollof rice on one side and Fried rice on the other. The two just compliment each other.
Coleslaw and/or dodo to go with the rice.
Do you expect your guests to just be eating rice and meat like that? You have to garnish the rice with either coleslaw or dodo, and if you are feeling generous you put the two.
Ofada Rice & Ayamashe Sauce
Jollof and fried rice are great and all but it’s when the Ofada comes out that the real party starts.
Amala and ewedu
This is for your guests who are ready to wash hand and lose their home training. Make sure you garnish the ewedu and gbegiri with assorted
Pounded yam and efo riro
Emphasis on ‘pounded’ yam, poundo yam doesn’t count. Hot and fresh pounded yam must be on your Nigerian wedding food menu.
If you are feeling generous you can add ‘Chinese rice and sauce’ just to give your wedding some international exposure.
For all your ajebo guests.
Did we leave anything out?
1. This amala perfectly enveloped by efo riro.
2. This amala that only needs stew to prosper in life.
3. This plate of amala doing corner kick with meat.
4. What of this amala swimming inside gbegiri?
5. And this amala that is finer than you.
6. This amala that schooled abroad and has a foreign bae.
7. This amala romancing this beautiful ponmo.
8. This plate of amala that has taken packaging to another level.
9. This amala and shaki combination is all you need to get through a bad day.
10. What of this amala that is in formation with okro?
1. When you hear someone say it’s your turn to cook.
Oh no, not again!
2. When you’re done making a Nigerian meal.
If you don’t sweat after cooking , that food can never be sweet!
3. How the kitchen looks like a battlefield when you’re done with it.
The more scattered, the better!
4. Your mum’s reaction when she eats your food.
Ahn ahn mummy, its just a little salt now!
5. When you finally discover a Nigerian recipe App.
Yesss! Time to shame all the people who think I’m a bad cook!
6. When you’re making the food exactly as you saw it on Youtube, but the food is just not having any sense.
I think this egusi has malaria!
7. You, when you finish making swallow.
I hate this life so much right now!
8. After all the turning and gyrating, the swallow will now be looking like stone.
I’m done. Just done.
9. When you’re using your recipe app to cook and your phone dies.
Kuku kill me!
10. When your mum starts telling all her friends how you don’t know how to cook.
Mummy you’re the one that taught me! So Kontinu!
11. When that amebo aunty comes at you with that ‘You must cook for your man so he won’t leave you’ advice.
Keep wallowing in your backward thinking ma!
12. When the food decides to burn itself a second time, so you start thinking of dating a chef.
At this point, that’s the only option!
13. How you pack cartons of Indomie when shopping, because it’s the only thing saving you from yourself.
I cannot come and die!
14. When you finally meet a fine boy, but he says he only can only marry a good cook like his mother, so you have to package like:
Hello overnight chef!
15. The pep talk you give yourself when you’re about to cook.
‘You will not burn this rice today.’
16. When you finally get the food done after much wahala, and someone says it’s not sweet.
My fren keep quiet!
17. How your in-laws look at you when you serve them croissants and coffee because you’re not trying to embarrass yourself.
Please ma, manage it like that o! If not stay in your house!
18. When you finally meet a bae who doesn’t mind your cooking skills and people are having headaches about it.
Haters gon hate!
Nigeria is made up of diverse cultures and ethnic groups who often intermarry.
This short mockumentary focuses on a young Nigerian Couple who try to live together peacefully, without killing each other.
The Igbo husband is hankering for his local food and his wife has taken her time to prepare her native food.
He wants to eat Ofe Owerri.
And she prepared amala, gbegiri and ewedu.
You can imagine what happens. The accompanying voice-over is funny and makes for an even more hilarious story.
