Some people love showing off their partners online. Others, would rather keep their relationships off social media, whether to protect their privacy, avoid unnecessary drama or enjoy the perks of appearing single.
We asked six Nigerians why they choose not to post their partners. Here’s what they had to say.
“I want to enjoy my relationship in ignorance” — Calliope, 31, F
I’ve been dating this man for two and a half years, and I’ve never posted him on social media. He’s not even my profile picture. The relationship is beautiful, and I think that’s the problem. There’s always a little voice at the back of my head telling me it’s too good to be true and that if I dig deeper, I might land in the hospital.
I don’t want to post my partner today and hear, “I come to you as a woman.” Please, I’m begging you, don’t come to me. I don’t have the emotional capacity for investigative journalism in my own relationship. Let the blind remain blind.
“My woman is no one’s business” — Franklyn, 27
I’m a private person, so nobody knows when I’m in a relationship. I get in, and you only find out when I’ve gotten out. I don’t want to post my partner, and I don’t want her posting me either. I don’t need social media validation to prove that my relationship is beautiful or that I’m happy. What we have is between us, and I prefer it that way. I might post her on our anniversary or at our wedding, but beyond that, people should mind the business that pays them.
“Love has done something to my eyes” — Ozy, 26
My man is not the finest man I’ve dated. There, I said it. He’s a lovely man. He’s caring, thoughtful, and treats me so well. I genuinely love him, but sometimes, when I look at pictures of us together, I wonder if love has done something to my eyes.
We could be at the most beautiful location, looking all romantic, and I’d look at the pictures later and ask myself, “Omo, is this my life?” My exes were hot men, so I don’t know what happened here. Maybe I’ve finally matured. Maybe my taste has evolved. Maybe love is actually blind. Whatever the case, I’m not ready for the ridicule. I’ve chosen to enjoy my relationship in peace.
“I can’t risk losing my single girl privileges ” — Temi, 26, F
I like the attention I get on social media. I’m attractive, I know it, and I refuse to pretend otherwise. If people find out I’m dating someone, I might lose some of the privileges I enjoy by appearing single. I’m not ready to give those up. I’ve never cheated, physically or emotionally, but must I abandon the benefits of being a fine woman just because there’s a man in my life? Besides, my man benefits too.
These men want me and do things for me because they know they can’t have me, but they’re still hoping. It’s beautiful, really.
“The last time I posted my husband, my friend tried to destroy my marriage” — Olamide, 29
I’ve been married for two years, but I don’t post my husband online. The last time I did, a close friend slid into his DMs, accused me of sleeping around and told him to run a DNA-test. Thankfully, he dismissed her claims and told me everything. I also discovered other women were shooting their shots in his DMs.
Omo, social media is a battlefield. My husband doesn’t post me either. One of his friends once messaged me claiming he was married, but when I looked into it, I realised the man liked me and wanted to ruin our relationship.
Recently, I posted my husband on TikTok. Someone saved the video to ask if he was my husband. I said yes, and she started wowing. Wowing for what? As an ambulance? I deleted the video immediately.
“I’m dating a baddie and the public is bullying me” — Joseph * 30
My girlfriend is out of my league. I’m the one punching above my weight. She’s beautiful, tall, and gorgeous, and sometimes I genuinely wonder what she’s doing with me. I once posted pictures from our date, and my friends spent the entire time dragging me in the group chat, saying she deserved a better-looking guy. They found it funny, but it hurt.
She’s also popular. When we go to raves, everyone wants to hug her. Sometimes, we don’t even pay for event tickets because people know her. Someone once referred to me as her friend, and I couldn’t even blame them.
I’m proud of her, and she loves me deeply. But constantly feeling like I’m not good enough is exhausting. I don’t post her pictures because I’m tired of people making me feel like I don’t deserve her.
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