
We probably sound like a broken record, but here’s the tea: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and the lovebirds plan to step on necks this year. Think 2024 was worse? Don’t wait to find out.
Since some of us are plotting how to avoid sitting at home, crying and throwing all the different variations of “God, when?” at our creator, we’ve compiled 10 places guaranteed to keep you busy, surrounded by people, and far from the sting of loneliness.
The market

Forget the cinemas; the market is the real Valentine’s hotspot. With traders yelling, “Come and buy rice, my love!” and “Tomato wey fresh pass your relationship,” you’ll find all the excitement you need. Plus, you’ll get to haggle with someone who’ll call you “my love” without asking for commitment.
Your family house

This is the ultimate safe haven. While everyone else is getting fake promises of love, you’ll be chilling with those who truly care about you (and your bank account). Your cousins and siblings might bill you, but it’s all genuine love.
Spend time with your creator

You can never go wrong with midweek service or a prayer meeting. There, your pastor will remind you that Jesus loves you unconditionally and that waiting on the Lord is better than a man who couldn’t do all in his power to find you before February 14.
Your single friend’s house

Two singles = zero pressure. You’ll spend time doom scrolling on social media and judging couples and their gifts. “It’s even plastic flowers. God, abeg.”
A work meeting

Volunteer for overtime. Not only will you avoid the love-in-the-air nonsense, but you’ll also look like the most dedicated employee in the room. Who needs love when you have career goals?
Gatecrash a wedding

Yes, relationship people are extra and annoying like that, so you’ll find a couple or ten getting married on Valentine’s Day. The jollof rice will distract you from the lovebirds taking endless selfies. Bonus points if the DJ plays heartbreak jams during the reception.
The ATM queue

No one’s in a romantic mood while waiting for cash. The collective frustration of Nigerians struggling with withdrawals is the perfect distraction from your lack of Valentine’s Day plans.
The barber’s shop/salon

While relationship people are getting plastic roses, you’ll be getting a fresh cut or braids to remind you that you’re the prize. Your mirror will hype you more than any boo ever could.
The cinema (alone)

Sure, there will be couples, but going solo to watch a horror film ensures you’re not the only one screaming out loud. Besides, you’ll also get the chance to throw popcorn at couples who want to violate the “no intimacy” rule in the cinema.
A party for single people

You know those “Singles Mingle” events that pop up around Valentine’s Day? They’re not just for desperate people, I promise. Go with an open mind, free food, and a killer outfit. Your church or estate is probably planning one already as we speak.
READ THIS TOO: How to Find The Love of Your Life Before February 14