Growing up in Nigeria, there were a couple of insults that hit us way too hard. In retrospect, most of them didn’t even make any damn sense, but that didn’t stop them from making us cry.
Here are 15 of the most popular:
1. “Water and garri make eba for your wedding day.”
What’s wrong with having eba on my wedding day?
2. “You mess akpu fly gate.”
Sorry to that akpu.
3. “You dey craze, you dey mad, you dey gbongbolo cigar.”
What the hell did this even mean?
4. “2 kuli kuli attack your village, nobody escape.“
Na the village sabi.
5. “The finest girl for your village, na monkey dey toast am.“
Monkeys cannot have taste again?
6. “You bombastic element.”
7. “Radio without battery.”
In 2020, this actually sounds like a compliment.
8. “The strongest man for your village, na hot eba kill am.“
Nobody is bigger than choking, abeg.
9. “Unbreakable chin chin.”
10. “The tallest man for your village dey use ladder climb maggi.“
That sounds like his own personal problem.
11. “Y has a long tail and two branches.”
Ok. This one was annoying.
12. “American dusting powder.”
At least I’m American.
13. “The richest man for your village dey use shovel drink garri.“
Maybe he just has a big appetite na.
14. “Unflushable toilet.”
This one used to pain small sha.
15. “Your scatter scatter teeth like Rambo bullet.”