15 Childhood Insults That Hurt Us Way More Than They Should Have

February 17, 2020

Growing up in Nigeria, there were a couple of insults that hit us way too hard. In retrospect, most of them didn’t even make any damn sense, but that didn’t stop them from making us cry.

Here are 15 of the most popular:

1. “Water and garri make eba for your wedding day.”

What’s wrong with having eba on my wedding day?

2. “You mess akpu fly gate.”

Sorry to that akpu.

3. “You dey craze, you dey mad, you dey gbongbolo cigar.”

What the hell did this even mean?

4. “2 kuli kuli attack your village, nobody escape.

Na the village sabi.

5. “The finest girl for your village, na monkey dey toast am.

Monkeys cannot have taste again?

6. “You bombastic element.”

Huh?

7. “Radio without battery.”

In 2020, this actually sounds like a compliment.

8. “The strongest man for your village, na hot eba kill am.

Nobody is bigger than choking, abeg.

9. “Unbreakable chin chin.”

OK…

10. “The tallest man for your village dey use ladder climb maggi.

That sounds like his own personal problem.

11. “Y has a long tail and two branches.”

crying man for money Zikoko

Ok. This one was annoying.

12. “American dusting powder.”

man crying because of money

At least I’m American.

13. “The richest man for your village dey use shovel drink garri.

Maybe he just has a big appetite na.

14. “Unflushable toilet.”

This one used to pain small sha.

15. “Your scatter scatter teeth like Rambo bullet.”

Lmao. WHAT?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 21, 2020

Mr Eazi — “Bedroom Bully” In 2018, Mr Eazi dropped Lagos To London, a stellar body of work that solidified his place as one of Nigeria’s most gifted stars. Two years later and that mixtape is still the gift that keeps on giving. On the project’s Broda Shaggi-assisted skit, “In Molue To London”, there was […]

naira markey
February 3, 2020

Naira Marley — “Anywhere” ft. Ms. Banks Naira Marley was one of 2019’s most essential stars, thanks to the inescapable hits he flooded our airwaves with. He’s now brought that same energy into 2020, kicking things off with the solid “Anywhere”. On this track, we get more of the smooth-talking Naira Marley that stole the […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Pop

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X