The novelty of the new year has worn off and it’s officially time for us to settle into 2022. But before we dive fully into the year, we would like to remind Nigerian men that these fashion trends need to die with fire. We’ve had enough and we honestly can’t take it anymore. Thank you.
1. Ashawo shorts that go below the knee
Ashawo short that cannot show any thighs, is that one even ashawo? Please and please, if you want to be an ashawo , do it with your chest. Why are you still wearing shorts that cover your thighs? Are we in 1999? You can’t be in the middle this year, pick a side and stick to it. We will be patrolling the streets with scissors. If we catch you falling our hands, we will redesign your shorts.
2. Super tight skinny jeans
Why? I thought we left this nonsense in 2009? With all the global warming and heat in Nigeria, you think suffocating the next generation to bear your last name is acceptable? Let’s stop this wickedness in 2022. At least consider unborn children. Thank you.
3. Crocodile mouth shoes
Unless you have six containers on the high sea and a very hot deal with the underworld, there’s no other reason why you should be caught wearing these shoes. Do you have a meeting with Clems Ohameze and Kanayo .O. Kanayo later this evening? Let’s kill it with fire.
4. Ashy lips
This might not be a fashion trend, but it’s still very important to us at Zikoko. Harmattan is still well alive even though Lagos people don’t know what that is. And yet, some men have decided that they’d rather be White Walkers than actually use lip balm. And If lip balms are threatening your masculinity, you can always go back to good old vaseline.
This needs to stop, please. Are you in 2010? I know Buhari said we should all be farmers, but why are you walking around with ridges on your head as if you want to plant corn?? Except footballers sha; those guys can’t be stopped and we’ve given up.
6. Slides and white socks
If you’re in the Gen Z crew or live in Jos, then this post is not for you. Do you, boo. The rest of you, are you not hot? Why are you dressing like a Nollywood IJGB? Free yourselves from the shackles of copy copy.
7. Net singlets
Are you trying to trap an Anopheles mosquito? If yes, go ahead.
8. Short-sleeved suits
This is for 50+ men and labour leaders that eventually transition into broom-wielding governors. The less said about it, the better. Smh.