People are always dragging Nigerian men up and down like small generators and honestly, we’re tired of that rubbish. Every day you go online, “Nigerian men this” and “Nigerian men that”. When you really think about it, we are the most elite group of men in the world and today, we have gathered evidence necessary to prove this fact.
1. Nigerian men don’t hear word, so we won’t hear other women calling us
We barely listen to you when you speak, so what makes you think we can hear other girls trying to get our attention? Simple maths.
2. We know how to cook Indomie and boiled egg
Where else will you find men that are naturally-born chefs? No, we’re asking you o. We might not know how to make soups, swallow or even white rice, but you see this Indomie and egg thing? Omo, nobody is seeing our brake light. Once in a while, we add crayfish or fried plantain for visual effects.
3. If you’re tired, we can marry another wife to help lift your burden
Marriage is a partnership and Nigerian men are very supportive of our women. This is why whenever we begin to notice signs of stress, we make the move to bring another woman into the home. People misunderstand this and think it’s for us, but really it’s for our queens. Get you a selfless king today.
4. We are very fertile
There’s a reason why Nigeria is the most populous black nation and trust us, it’s not because Buhari is working.
5. We will buy you that creamy pasta you’re hungry for
While they say food is the way to a man’s heart, we strongly believe creamy pasta is the way to a Nigerian babe’s heart. You see that pasta you’re always craving on the interwebs? We will buy it for you. When you’re ready, call us.
6. We know how to turn on the generator and change over from NEPA
Yes, we know our ancestors were out here building huts and hunting wild animals, but have they experienced the heartbreak that comes pulling and cutting that generator rope thing? No. We do a lot these days and we don’t feel appreciated for all our hard domestic work.
7. We are tall online and offline
You know how women look tall online, but in real life they end up short? Can never be a Nigerian man. In fact, we’re even taller in person. #TallKingsUnite
8. We are men of God
You see that man you’ve been praying for? We are him and he is us. The problem is you people like looking far. Turn to your neighbour today and say, “Neighbour, will you marry me?”
9. We have home training so we won’t disgrace you
If there’s one thing you can count on us for, it’s that we’re trustworthy. Forget all the bad PR we’ve been getting on social media, those people are lying lazy Nigerian youths. You can even leave us in the midst of all the hot girls in Nigeria and we won’t do anything.
10. We have plenty money
It doesn’t matter whether it’s tech or running $1000 per plate restaurants, Nigerian men will always find a way to hustle and keep you away from poverty. We are very loaded.
11. We fine die
Have you met us? You must be a joker.
12. We know one or two things about genital meet and greet
Every day you people drag Nigerian men, but later we will jam you in traffic travelling across state lines for fornication. Give us our flowers please. We know what we’re doing in that department.