We’ve all been there. That moment when you show interest in someone and they either say “No thanks. God bless” or “I’m on a journey of self-discovery”. Those moments feel like a stab to the heart. To my brothers going through the struggle, we see you. Here are 5 ways to handle rejection in 2021.
Become a rapper and drop a diss track (or album)
All your favorite rappers have that one song written to remind their secondary school girlfriends that they’re successful now, while the girl is out there probably married to a loser. Does it matter that LOYL has happily moved on with a successful tech bro? No! Does it matter that you can’t rap for shit? No! The only thing that matters here is how you feel. So book that studio session today. Watimagbo!
Fake enjoyment on social media
The best way to get back at someone who rejected you is to show them that you don’t care. As a matter of fact, show them you’re living your best life. Whether that life is real or not doesn’t matter. So, borrow one of your female friends and do “My view, her view.” Crash a neighbor’s game night and post pictures from it on your IG stories. Download holiday videos from TikTok, and pass them off as yours (Nobody’s going to know) And as the cherry on top of this sundae of lies, spend all your savings on a new car. There’s no way she won’t be jealous after all this.
Sew a thread on Twitter
If you’re not a writer with a good sense of humor, this might flop harder than the Nneka the Pretty Serpent remake. We advise you to hire a good writer to make a long ass thread about how people don’t understand your potential in life. Bonus points if you cite a couple of brothers who went from grass to grace, like Olamide and Jay-Jay Okocha. You will look pathetic, but it’s all part of the process.
Work hard so you can buy her father’s house
What better way to get revenge on the person that broke your heart than buying their family home? It’s time for you to develop the next FinTech app and make enough money to become her father’s landlord. She’ll probably look back at the time she rejected you and scream “Had I known!”
Now that you have failed at all the other things on this list, it’s time to play Enya and just have a good, ugly cry. We get it. Life is hard. But stay strong, bro. One day, someone will accept your offer of love.