It’s that time of December to pick a co-worker and anonymously surprise them with a gift. But if you’re unwilling to be anyone’s secret Santa, explore these alternatives instead.
Rig the game
Hustle to be in charge of the office Secret Santa and rig the selection process so someone with funds can pick your name. Don’t cry when you get a keyholder or the Olori Oko album as a gift o.
Or spoil yourself
If you’re going to spend money, it might as well be on someone whose wishlist you know well — you. Buying gifts for yourself is simply more exciting than waiting for an anonymous Santa to disappoint you.
Be Santa without the “secret”
If gifting anonymously isn’t doing it for you, this is your call to remove the “secret” and become an actual helper. Show the world the benevolent in you.
Robin Hood
Speaking of benevolence, forget secret Santa. Robin brought more anonymous cheer. So find a way to rob Nigerian politicians of their wealth and use it to feed the needy — your fellow slaves of capitalism.
Posh bambiala
Enter rich people’s DMs, send your name, account details and cap it up with “compliments of the season”. Haters will say, “The nerve of you,” but you’re only creating a multi-revenue stream. Let rich people be your Santa for a change.
Gift courier
Think about the heavy sum we’ve heard some dispatch riders rake in per month. Helping the secret Santas deliver gifts may be a better idea. At least, you’ll make money instead of losing it on someone you don’t even like. You may earn more than your actual salary, or at least, enough to survive the 80 days of January.
Sit-at-home
Don’t participate in Secret Santa, don’t send a wish list to anyone and don’t collect gifts either. Be with your boring self. Simple.
