As a fresh undergrad, your matriculation gown should spark nothing but pure joy to keep you in a constant loop of delulu so you’ll forget the years of premium shege ahead. If it cannot do something as basic as that, there’s a problem.

Today, I shifted focus from universities to see what’s happening in the academic fashion department of polytechnics. Let’s see what I found.

Kaduna Polytechnic

We Ranked the Matriculation Gowns of 12 Nigerian Polytechnics

Photo source: InfoSuleja

If they had to be low-effort and go for blue, can they at least combine it with a different colour? Navy blue and sky blue? Haba.

Rufus Giwa Polytechnic

Photo source: Rugipopress

Another uninspiring spread of blue. Also, why do the caps look like they were pulled out from the bottom of a Ghana-must-go in an abandoned staff room?

Federal Polytechnic, Ede

We Ranked the Matriculation Gowns of 12 Nigerian Polytechnics

Photo source: X

The looks on these freshers’ faces should tell you everything you need to know about how they feel about this gown.

Osun State Polytechnic, Ire

We Ranked the Matriculation Gowns of 12 Nigerian Polytechnics

They’re only on this spot because I found Ede’s picture before theirs. I mean, if you take out the red and replace it with wine, what’s the difference between their gowns?

Federal Polytechnic, Bauchi

We Ranked the Matriculation Gowns of 12 Nigerian Polytechnics

Photo source: TribuneOnline

When your gown rhymes with the plastic chair at your matriculation ceremony, you know the school doesn’t give a flying fuck about looks. They get a pass for dry cleaning sha.

YabaTech, Lagos

Photo source: Facebook

If you look at this picture with squinted eyes, you will see tubers of yam. I’m not even joking.

Federal Polytechnic Ilaro

Photo:TheNation

Let’s just say they made it to this spot for branching out from any shade of blue. The gown still screams “mid” sha.

Kano State Polytechnic

We Ranked the Matriculation Gowns of 12 Nigerian Polytechnics

Photo source: Kanopoly.edu

Do my eyes deceive me or is that an agriculture and lemon green combo? I guess it’s better than blue.

Delta state polytechnic

Photo source: Facebook

You know what? I rate this gown, and I’ll gladly rock it. But if you ask me why they made it this high on this ranking, I couldn’t tell.

Moshood Abiola Polytechnic

We Ranked the Matriculation Gowns of 12 Nigerian Polytechnics

Photo source: Facebook

I admit the execution could’ve been better, but management pulled their weight to stand out from the clutter. They get a heavy C+.

Lagos State Polytechnic

Photo source: Facebook

Can we take a moment to appreciate this institution for thinking outside the box with the customised edges? They get a B+.

Federal Polytechnic, Ukana

Photo source: Fedpolyukana.edu.ng

I don’t know if it’s because the gowns are dry cleaned or it’s the cool red and black combo, but they rightfully deserve this spot.

Read next: We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

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