When you get into a new relationship with a plus-size person, there’ll be a whole phase of them feeling uncomfortable with you. But don’t get upset. As a plus-size woman, I can tell you they’re just unlearning the bad habit of wondering if you really find them beautiful — and to what extent.
Here are nine thoughtful ways to help your plus-size partner feel more comfortable.
Love them as they are
Please, don’t date someone with the expectation of changing them. Let them be. Don’t give snarky comments about their eating habits or what you think they need to do to look fit. Take them the way they are or not at all.
When you’re planning a date, pick a location that isn’t crowded
Crowded places make it easy for your partner to overthink how they look. Of course, taking them out of their comfort zone once in a while isn’t a bad thing, but in the beginning, try to keep it simple. Pick restaurants with outdoor and indoor spaces. It’s a lot less choked up and gives your plus-size partner more options.
Always let them pick where to sit on dates
I love sitting in corners and I don’t like to be in the centre of a room because I feel everyone’s staring at me. And that makes me anxious. If there’s no corner seat, I still want to be the one to pick a spot because I’ll choose a place that makes me feel like it’s just my partner and me at that moment. And that’s the whole point of the date, right?
Don’t dump them with your friends when you hang out together
When you’re out for a party or introducing them to people, don’t disappear into the crowd. Stick around and ease them into your social circle, especially if they’re not social butterflies.
If they sweat a lot, don’t ask why they’re always sweaty
Your plus-size partner will likely sweat when they’re moving from an air-conditioned car into a hot room, or if they’re nervous. And they already know they’re sweaty, so don’t ask. Just carry a handkerchief around if you want to be helpful.
Don’t force them to tell you their dress sizes
There are a lot of things to consider with clothes. First of which is that it’s already difficult to find plus-size clothing in stores. Also, a size 16 in one store can be a size 14 in another. The worst thing is getting an outfit that ends up not fitting. So my advice? Observe where they shop and how they shop first. Or ask a close friend who knows what they like and make your move.
Create a safe space for your partner when it comes to food. There’s nothing quite as intimate as an indoor date where you cook for them or order your favourite meals. It lets your partner know their cravings are valid.
Always compliment them
Never miss telling them how beautiful they are. Say it when you’re alone, around friends, everywhere. Be the cute partner that makes sure your partner knows how much you love them.
Ease into being physically intimate with them
They’ll always overthink if they should get on top of you, let you carry them or touch certain parts of their bodies. It takes time to trust that someone loves every part of your body. So if they resist, rather than getting upset, re-affirm that you love them wholly.