The Ultimate Guide To Getting Free Drinks When Nigerian Clubs Reopen

August 5, 2020

Now that the world is getting back to normalcy after whatever the first half of 2020 was, it’s only a matter of time before the clubs open again. Normally, the prices of drinks at clubs are mindfuckingly expensive, but after a few months away, you would probably have to sell a kidney to afford a shot of Hennesy.

But don’t worry, we’re offering the ultimate hack on getting free drinks in Nigerian clubs.

1.Tell everyone you don’t drink

This is the oldest trick in the book. Everyone wants to be the one that got the person who has never touched alcohol shitfaced. It’s good for bragging rights. So if you want to get super drunk, use this trick. You’re welcome.

2. Say “Alcohol does nothing to me”

Endlessly brag about how no amount of alcohol can do any damage to you. Tell anyone who is willing to listen that you can down a whole bottle of the strongest drink they’re willing to offer. Chances are, someone will take you up on the challenge and get you a lot of alcohol. Enjoy yourself.

3. Sit still, look pretty

People are attracted to beauty. All you need for this trick is to look as stunning as you can. Get into the club, pick a corner, sit, and start using your phone. From time to time, chuckle. Someone will notice you and want to find out what’s making you laugh. The rest is in your hands. Good luck.

4. Tell everyone it’s your birthday

People are not so evil. If you say it’s your birthday, you’ll get free drinks. It’s that simple. Just don’t get caught. Please, don’t get caught.

5. Act like you’re sad

Cry in the club. Look as sad as you can. Someone will try to ask you if you’re okay. This is when you should come up with a fake but convincing story about how your dog died, and his last wishes were for you to get shitfaced that night. If they’re drunk enough they’ll believe and you’ll get your booze. If they were having a bad day, you’re about to cry some more.

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