What I Learned From Manchester City’s Premier League Triumph

May 13, 2019

You’ve probably heard the name Pep Guardiola a lot in the last few days. Whoever was saying it was referring to this guy.

Pep has a big reputation as one of the greatest football managers in the world right now and he may have assembled the most intimidating team in England’s history. But if you were anywhere close to a sports fan or one of those many spots where men drink beer and shout at television screens over the weekend, you would have gotten a sense of just how close the race for the Premier League title went this season.

The most watched sports league in the world, the English Premier League is many different things to different people. To some, it’s the reason why bae’s beer belly is exponentially growing in timber and calibre. For others, it’s an inconvenience that prompts noise and arguments. But for the billions who watch it around the world, it’s a 38-week long game of transfers, tactics, heroes, villains, goals and misses.

This year’s edition of the league has given us more twists than a bowl of Spaghetti. And after some intense drama that ran into the final day, Manchester City was eventually crowned as champions. But considering how much noise we’ve made about it, what did we, as Nigerians learn from this football drama…

Here are 3 things I’ve personally been reminded of:

  • All Mallam With Him Kettle

All mallam with him kettle is a phrase that loosely means that everyone is responsible for themselves. How does this apply to the EPL? Well, just weeks ago, Liverpool, armed with Mo’ Salah and Sadio Mane were 7 points ahead of everyone else and seemed certain to win the league.

Then the table started ‘turnioniown‘ until going into the final round of matches, Manchester City was ahead by one point. Liverpool needed another EPL club, Brighton to do them a favour by stopping City in their final match of the season. It was highly unlikely but 10 minutes into their match, Brighton scored. It seemed a miracle was in the offing. Then in the space of forty minutes, City scored four ruthless goals. I imagine Brighton’s coach sending this text to the Liverpool manager.

  • Awoof Dey Run Belle

As a Chelsea fan, this story holds much importance for me. Is it a lesson that involves Chelsea? Of course not. Where’s the fun in minding your own business. Join me as we go to Manchester United where after a rough start to the season, the legendary Jose Mourinho was fired. In his place, United drafted in a former player, Ole Gunnar Solksjaer who quickly won his first six games on the trot. “Ole’s at the Wheel” – read the tweets from the United fans. The shouts for Ole got louder after his team managed to overturn a deficit and beat PSG against all odds in the Champions League.

“Ole’s at the Wheel as he masterminds six successive victories” H/T Bleacher Report

Then the winning streak turned into a losing one. United ended their season by losing to two teams already assured of relegation. The saviour that was promised has turned into a scarecrow – eternal proof that early success can blind you to other problems – in this case, Ole’s inexperience.

  • If You No Get Money, Hide Your Face

Let’s play a game? You know what? Let’s not. Remember when I said Pep Guardiola has assembled the most intimidating team in the Premier League. Guess how he did it? With Money. In the last 5 years, Manchester City has spent 563 million pounds on new players. By comparison, Huddersfield which had been certain of coming in last with weeks to go, have spent a paltry 73 million pounds in that period. Go figure.

The EPL, quite simply, is a place where money (and good management) can get you all you need, which is basically how the entirety of human existence works. Moral Lesson: If you don’t have the racks to compete, better be bringing something else to the table.

Small Doctor is a philosopher for all ages; you people just don’t know it yet.

Segun Akande

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

April 24, 2020

The rise of new Nollywood has brought with it a host of exciting new stars like Adesua Etomi, Enyinna Nwigwe and many more. However, one star who never seems to get the due they deserve is the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge. Vey few Nollywood performers are as relentless and as hard-working as the bridge, who, without any […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 21, 2021

As told to Femi A couple of weeks ago, I put out a tweet looking to speak with young people dealing with hypertension. Ehimen reached out to me. Our conversation spanned beyond hypertension to other issues. Here’s his story. It all began in my final year at the university when I was 19. I think […]

April 21, 2021

Tough times are really lasting, and the thought of using someone for money ritual looks more appealing. However, the fear of God is also real so you don’t know how to run it. Well, that’s where we come in. Here are some steps to enable you perform money ritual in a way that pleases God. […]

Recommended Quizzes

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

More from Pop

April 16, 2021

Everyone knows Nigerian universities are designed to break you. But when you’re the god of thunder, it should be easy, right? On this episode of #JustImagine, we reimagine Thor as a Nigerian student named, Tomiwa. Campus Hostel Bode, Tomiwa’s friend and roommate, is standing outside the hostel addressing a small crowd. The crowd is agitated. […]

April 14, 2021

Quick-fire camera flashes, hot stilettos and distinct music characterized the cool ambience at the venue of Desperados’ celebrity influencer showcase. The beer brand, which was first launched in Nigeria last December is known to be the charm of celebrities who dared to stand out from the crowd. It was no surprise that Mercy Eke, Timini […]

April 14, 2021

If you could transform your love for music into a full-blown career, which would it be? Let’s give you some pointers. Take this quiz. A career in music means you’ll most likely work to bring amazing stuff like Jameson’s Confluence Project, curated by Mainland Block Party. Go here to stream and enjoy the mashup vibes. […]

April 8, 2021

To say that Nollywood has given us more than enough ‘WTF is happening’ movies to last us a lifetime is an understatement. Today, we are going to go through four movie franchises from Nollywood that had us going “WTF?!” from start to finish. Blackberry Babes The fact this franchise even exists stresses me in ways […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X