All The Things That Happen When You Die (According To Nollywood)

March 6, 2019

Nollywood’s depictions of a lot of things are usually straight up bizarre and unintentionally thigh-slappingly hilarious, but the thing that takes the cake is their depiction of the afterlife.


Here’s how things usually go when someone dies in Nollywood:



1. Your soul will literally leave your body.

As opposed to just appearing in the afterlife, Nollywood standards imply that recently deceased souls have to walk there. The lesson, of course, being that exercise is important, even when you don’t have a physical body.

2. In some cases (Mount Zion movies), you’ll be given a tour of hell and heaven respectively by an elderly angel dressed in a poorly-tailored white suit and then sent back to Earth because it’s “not your time.”

It’s amazing how terrible the angel of death in the Mount Zion Cinematic Universe™ is at their job of picking who dies.

3. If it indeed was your time to die and you were a terrible person when you were alive, you’ll be insulted for at least 20 minutes by the elderly angel after the tour and then sent straight to hell.

Angels in the MZCU™ don’t play.

4. In a normal Nollywood movie, you’ll be given the tea on who killed you and why.

Why “killed?” Because nobody ever dies of natural causes in Nollywood. When someone dies, it’s because they were poisoned by a close friend or family member.

5. You will presented with a choice to either move on or return to Earth as an angry ghost so you can haunt the person who killed you.

This has to be how it happens because why else do they all end up choosing this?

6. If you choose to become an angry ghost, your clothes will be taken from you and you will be given a flowing white gown.

I…I don’t even…what is happening in this picture??

7. Also, you’ll be covered in a shit ton of white powder and have cotton wool shoved up your nostrils.

Because being a dead person popping up in the world of the living is not scary enough, you also have to look like you have leprosy.

8. You will then proceed to torment the person responsible for your early demise by appearing to them from time to time and messing with their light bulbs.

You’ll remember that this was Liz Benson’s character’s M.O in Nollywood blockbuster, Diamond Ring. You know why? Because there’s nothing scarier (more annoying) than flickering lights.

9. This “torment” will continue until the person, frustrated by your disappearing acts and electricity tampering, confesses what they did in a public place filled with many people.

Then they either run mad and/or die.

10. Having found peace due to your murderer’s death (preferably by suicide), you will then go to heaven.

Regardless of the fact that you just exacted delicious revenge and God explicitly instructed that we leave that to him.

You'll like this

lady donli corner
February 13, 2020

Lady Donli — “Corner” Lady Donli’s debut album, Enjoy Your Life was easily one of 2019’s most compelling releases. Now, the captivating star has dropped an instantly iconic video for LP standout, “Corner”. On the fantastic track, featuring VanJess and The Cavemen, Donli sings about people trying to take advantage of her. For the video, […]

Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

More from Pop

July 1, 2020

Nigerians have the wrongest idea about a lot of things and if we’re being honest the media is responsible for some of that misorientation. By the media we mean Nollywood, yes this is a call out. Nollywood needs to dead these pandering these ideas; 1. Portraying rape as only voilent.  If we investigate this matter […]

June 27, 2020

Before you read this post, here is one thing we beg of you: if you have the phone number of any of these actresses, please link us. We need to be taken kiarof by them. You’ll probably ask, what’s a sugar baby? Well, read this to understand: What She Said: Who’s A Sugar Baby? 1. […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.