8 Lies People Tell On Social Media Every Day

July 8, 2020

You’re never laughing out loud when you type this. Hell, half the time, you probably never even find the thing you’ve been sent funny. I’m pretty sure you just type it to make the other person feel better. You might feel like the end justifies the means but a lie is a lie, you liar.

The best you probably do when you type this is a breathy chuckle. And the last time I checked, a breathy chuckle wasn’t enough to separate your ass from your body, you deceiver.

This one is super annoying because it’s a two-for-one lie combo. You’re not laughing and you sure as hell don’t even have a fat ass. Go do some squats, you fabricator.

Another two-for-one lie combo. Not laughing and not rolling on the floor. Drop to the floor and gave me 20 HA-HAs right this instant, you fibber.

Did you really scream if your neighbours (who couldn’t care less for you but just don’t want to write police statement if you die mysteriously) don’t come knocking at your door to make sure you’re ok? Make some noise, you phoney.

Where are the tears? Where is the snot? If you’re not serving Viola Davis realness, I don’t want any part of it, you fraud.

Stop appropriating asthma culture, you con artist.

And yet there you are, still alive and kicking. What do you have to say for yourself, you fucking trickster??

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