8 Lies People Tell On Social Media Every Day

July 8, 2020

You’re never laughing out loud when you type this. Hell, half the time, you probably never even find the thing you’ve been sent funny. I’m pretty sure you just type it to make the other person feel better. You might feel like the end justifies the means but a lie is a lie, you liar.

The best you probably do when you type this is a breathy chuckle. And the last time I checked, a breathy chuckle wasn’t enough to separate your ass from your body, you deceiver.

This one is super annoying because it’s a two-for-one lie combo. You’re not laughing and you sure as hell don’t even have a fat ass. Go do some squats, you fabricator.

Another two-for-one lie combo. Not laughing and not rolling on the floor. Drop to the floor and gave me 20 HA-HAs right this instant, you fibber.

Did you really scream if your neighbours (who couldn’t care less for you but just don’t want to write police statement if you die mysteriously) don’t come knocking at your door to make sure you’re ok? Make some noise, you phoney.

Where are the tears? Where is the snot? If you’re not serving Viola Davis realness, I don’t want any part of it, you fraud.

Stop appropriating asthma culture, you con artist.

And yet there you are, still alive and kicking. What do you have to say for yourself, you fucking trickster??

RECOMMENDED: 8 Lies You Need To Watch Out For In Nigerian Markets

You'll like this

November 3, 2015

A lot of Nigerians are addicted to Candy Crush, but those that dislike it are even higher in population. How do we know? Facebook users say so. And it isn’t just a Nigerian thing. It doesn’t matter anyway, because King Digital Entertainment, the makers of Candy Crush, was just bought for a whopping $5.9 billion. (that is N1.175 billion naira). But […]

Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

zikoko - Erica and Wathoni's Fight
August 15, 2020

This year’s Big Brother Naija show came to switch up the script we have been used to with past BBNaija seasons. This year it’s all about love, securing your spec, and sustaining your ship. Naturally, there’s been silent beef between people who find themselves gunning for the same spec category. Especially between Erica and Wathoni; […]

August 14, 2020

Crayon- Do Me Mavin’s talented artist, Crayon has once again showed just how talented he is with his new single, “Do Me”. Nice, progressive love song about he’d jealously guard his babe through thick and thin. Fire. Fireboy DML- Tattoo Whoa…Fireboy released this single with a Clarence Peters directed video, and if you’re going to […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already.

More from Pop

zikoko - Erica and Wathoni's Fight
August 15, 2020

This year’s Big Brother Naija show came to switch up the script we have been used to with past BBNaija seasons. This year it’s all about love, securing your spec, and sustaining your ship. Naturally, there’s been silent beef between people who find themselves gunning for the same spec category. Especially between Erica and Wathoni; […]

August 14, 2020

Crayon- Do Me Mavin’s talented artist, Crayon has once again showed just how talented he is with his new single, “Do Me”. Nice, progressive love song about he’d jealously guard his babe through thick and thin. Fire. Fireboy DML- Tattoo Whoa…Fireboy released this single with a Clarence Peters directed video, and if you’re going to […]

August 12, 2020

Burna Boy has announced that he’ll be releasing his fifth studio, “Twice as Tall” album on August 14 and the world is eagerly waiting. Yes, the world. Burna Boy is a global talent. The 15-track album was co-produced by P. Diddy and was mostly recorded during the months of coronavirus induced lockdown. In anticipation for […]

August 9, 2020

Web series are a chapter of the Nigerian entertainment sector that has been consistently coming through with great content. And the fact that they are all free on Youtube is the icing on the cake we needed. 1. This is it. This series shone a new light on marriage as interpreted by Nigerians. For once […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X