8 Songs We Really Had No Business Listening To As Kids In The 2000s

January 31, 2019

Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten to that age where every song sounds like diarrhoea (*cough* trap music), but I’ve found myself revisiting the bangers that rocked my late primary school/ secondary school years. (The 2000s).


This has been me this entire process:

Because while those songs will forever slap, a lot of them had very filthy (and sometimes downright problematic) lyrics.


Here’s a list of 8 examples:

1. Kelis – Milkshake

When asked what “Milkshake” meant in the context of the song, Kelis said that it’s “the thing that makes women special. It’s what gives us our confidence and what makes us exciting.” Well, I call bullshit because even though that explanation works, the title of the song was obviously meant as a euphemism for boobs.


Don’t @ me.

2. Tony Matterhorn – Dutty Wine

This #1 smash riddim track about the female African-Jamaican dance found its way into the playlists at KIDS PARTIES due to the fact that its dirty lyrics were mostly in Jamaican slang. Here are a few lines from the song’s second verse:

It honestly reads like he’s describing a particularly violent game of Twister. 

3. Nelly – Hot in Here

I wonder what my parents would’ve done if they knew I was at my primary school end of the year party dancing to a song that was clearly about a house party that turns into an orgy because of global warming.

4. Aqua – Barbie Girl

The Danish-Norwegian dance-pop group’s ode to the iconic doll, Barbie (and her partner, Ken) was riddled with so much sexual innuendo that the group was sued by Mattel, the makers of the Barbie doll, for violating their trademark and turning the children’s toy into a sex object. Take a look at the lyrics from the song’s first verse:


5. Pussycat Dolls – Buttons

This song is about a woman’s desire to be undressed while her lover describes in graphic detail all the things he’s going to do to her body.


Enough said.

6. Destiny’s Child – Lose My Breath

This song starts with a woman’s voice that screams “HIT ME!” and then segues into a 3 minute and 33-second long shaming session where Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle berate their lovers for not being able to keep up with them sexually.


None of this mattered though because we were too busy bumping and grinding to it when we were 10 years old.

7. Beyonce – Check On It

It’s funny how I used to think this song was about a girl looking pretty in pink and dancing with her friends (because of the video) when it’s really the unofficial stripper national anthem.


Here’s the chorus, if you think I’m lying:

All hail the queen of innuendos.

8. Literally any song by Vybez Kartel

If you close your eyes and pick a song at random from Vybez Kartel’s discography, there’s a 98% chance your ears will be assaulted by lyrics containing frightening levels of violence, misogyny, homophobia etc.


Let’s just say I wasn’t surprised to learn how he ended up.


Music in the 2000s was wild and I honestly can’t wait till time travel is discovered so I can go back and relive it.

You'll like this

November 19, 2019

Joeboy has had a truly incredible breakout year, thanks to the back-to-back success of “Baby”, “Beginning”, “Don’t Call Me Back” and “All For You”. Well, out of those four career-making singles, two of them were produced by rising beatsmith, Beats by KO. So, we decided to catch up with Beats by KO, who is also […]

January 9, 2020

2019 had a ton of great Nigerian albums, courtesy of big-name stars like Burna Boy and rising phenoms like Lady Donli. While all of these releases came with solid singles, all of them still have non-singles that are worthy of our attention as well. Burna Boy’s “Wetin Man Go Do” (African Giant) Burna Boy’s Grammy-nominated […]

Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.


Now on Zikoko

May 27, 2020

DJ Spinall — “Pressure” ft. Dice Ailes Many Nigerian DJs try, but few are able to orchestrate a banger quite like DJ Spinall. For his latest effort, the Dice Ailes-assisted “Pressure”, he proves that he still remains undefeated. That being said, “Pressure” is Dice Ailes’ show through and through. The criminally underrated star shines on […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

October 14, 2019

Pete Edochie, Patience Ozokwor, Chinwetalu Agu, and Segun Arinze are some of the best villains Nollywood have gifted us. These actors mastered the art of playing the bad guys that it would be hella weird if they played anything else. Now, you might just be the one fit to fill their shoes and continue where […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Pop

May 27, 2020

DJ Spinall — “Pressure” ft. Dice Ailes Many Nigerian DJs try, but few are able to orchestrate a banger quite like DJ Spinall. For his latest effort, the Dice Ailes-assisted “Pressure”, he proves that he still remains undefeated. That being said, “Pressure” is Dice Ailes’ show through and through. The criminally underrated star shines on […]

May 26, 2020

Consider this a free trip down memory lane, back to the times when we believed in magic and romanticized vampires, before Empire, Money Heist and other such telenovellas came to be. Remember that time? Then here’s a list of 9 old American TV shows every Nigerian watched. 1. Merlin “In a land of myth, and […]

May 21, 2020

Mr Eazi — “Bedroom Bully” In 2018, Mr Eazi dropped Lagos To London, a stellar body of work that solidified his place as one of Nigeria’s most gifted stars. Two years later and that mixtape is still the gift that keeps on giving. On the project’s Broda Shaggi-assisted skit, “In Molue To London”, there was […]

May 21, 2020

Ladies and gentlemen of Buhari’s internet, I bring you good news: Big Brother is coming back this 2020. Since Lady Corona began her world tour, a lot of things had to be put on hold, Big Brother Naija included. But now, we can confirm that Big Brother Naija season 5 is about to hit our […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa
May 5, 2020
For the second season, we put an even more diverse motley crew of young Nigerians in front of a camera and asked them random questions about love, school experiences and more.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.