Are You Sure You Want To Get Married Like This?

November 30, 2018

Before you people say we want to spoil a good thing now, we’re just giving friendly, honest-to-goodness advice here.

That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

You know how it’s always sweet to enter a Nigerian wedding? Dj is dropping better gbedu, small chops are sizzling, jollof is on deck, and alcohol, oh the alcohol!

See how your body is shaking reading this, that’s where we’ll find you.

Forget all that one, let us tell you what really makes up Nigerian weddings and all the combo moves your pocket better be ready to take.

play along

Again, just on a friendly level. No scare-tactics here 🙂

First things first- before you even think of the wedding proper, Instagram has to hear it with your pre-wedding shoot. Want to know what that will cost you?

A lot, that’s how much. Photographer will collect around 60k, make-up artist maybe 25 if they’re feeling nice, and let’s not start on all the new clothes you’ll pay for.

If you haven’t heard, the new thing is for brides to buy their bridesmaids gifts before they accept.

Depending on how you love them, that can go anywhere from 10k to 20k per head. Are you ready?

Are you planning on having a rehearsal dinner? Hope you know the bride and groom will cover everyone’s food and drinks? Ready your mind and account balance.

Hope you’re counting all the gbese?

Gone are the days when introductions were just a sitting-room affair. These days, they’ve started dragging with the main wedding.

crying campus

Just remember to write X3 when you’re calculating money for small chops, Jollof and drinks.

The traditional engagement is another hassle, this is where the real spending begins.

Put food and drinks to one side first. Alaga money is enough to shake body. Then the bride needs a make-up artist. Both of you have to wear the nicest trad. I’m sweating on your behalf here.

And we have the event to finish all events – the wedding proper. Just know, everything you’re looking at on that day, na money kill am.

Make-up artist, suits, wedding dress, one dress for the reception, another for the after party, shoes, accessories. My brother, my sister, are you ready?

Side-note, anyone else notice make-up artists are cashing out with this wedding business?

Let me just start my YouTube tutorial journey.

See, you’ll go to weddings and complain about how food and drinks finished. Do you know how much a carton of Henny is? Have you done estimate of jollof rice for 500 of your closest friends and family?

No you haven’t. Well, get ready to feel the prices of everything!

And if wedding day isn’t enough. They’ve added wedding nights to it. Wedding parties must now have after-parties. Think about it, not only are you providing lunch, you have to cover dinner too.

Don’t forget DJ will still collect money for all this night work oh.

Anyway, what do we know? Love is a beautiful thing. Have fun with your expenses, sorry wedding party.

Don’t forget to invite us though, we’ve been looking for party jollof to eat.

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.