As the cost of living goes up and the Naira weakens, we present a list of ways to preserve the value of your Naira savings.
8) Dollars
Hello, Nigeria my people.
7) Bitcoin
The best way to unfuck yourself from the Nigerian government.
6) Trader Moni
This is obviously the only “currency” the Nigerian government respects. We could literally be dying and the only thing the government will talk about is Trader Moni. Wait, they already did just that.
5) Bone straight wig
Wahala for who no get bone straight in Nigeria oh. Dual function – slay and save.
4) Rice
This is the new cocaine for Nigerians. That’s the only reason why a bag of rice now costs ₦35,000.
3) A kilo of turkey
At ₦2,700 per kilo, this is obviously our new exchange rate benchmark. Naira – Kilo – Dollars.
2) Social media bill
This is the latest thing in town. Politicians will pay you anything for it.
1) Onions
Kuku kill us.
