7 Things You Need To Do When You Start Making Bastard Money

September 2, 2020

As a Nigerian, subtlety shouldn’t be your strongest suit. You need to let people know when you secure the bag. You know how they say money stops nonsense. If you’re not sure how to tastefully do this, let the following suggestions guide you:

1. Hold a stack of cash to your ear every time you take a picture

Make sure it’s dollars. That’s the only acceptable currency.

2. Invest in a bunch of gold chains, rings, and watches

The bling won’t bling itself.

3. This goes without saying, but you can only use Apple products

iPhone X, iWatch and MacBook - freestocks.org - Free stock photo

You know, the trio — an iPhone, a Macbook, and an iWatch. Throw in an airpod for good measure

4. Get yourself a nice British accent to match

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Something befitting of your status, innit?

5. At least once a week, record a Snapchat video showing off your wardrobe

stacey dash closet GIF

I mean, there are necks to be pressed

6. Pretend to be mad when someone complains about the exchange rate

To be honest, though, you can’t relate.

7. Offer to borrow your friends money and forget to collect it back

We rise by lifting others.

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