5 Things You Can Do When You Enter A Bus Without Money

September 1, 2020

This has to be one of the top 10 worst things that could ever happen to a person. Imagine you’re on a bus and you touch your pockets/check your bag and realise that you left your wallet/purse sitting on the dining table. Now the conductor is collecting money line by line and he’s almost at your row. You have to think fast. What do you do?

1. Faint

This method is tried and trusted by many, particularly the Nigerian government. Think Dino Melaye and Pondei. Easy cop-out. The conductor can’t ask you for money if you faint. 10/10 will recommend.

Just In: NDDC Breaks Silence On Acting MD Fainting During Hearing | Naija  News

2. Start crying

Also a favourite of Nigerians. It is helpful if you start screaming before crying. When people ask you what’s wrong, just cry harder. The conductor will then let you go. Works every time. 9/10.

Chibok Girls: First Lady Breaks Down In Tears - YouTube

3. Pretend like you’re praying

Close your eyes. Mumble random words under your breath. Nigerians are very religious so they won’t disturb you. Keep praying and hope the conductor forgets. I rate this one 7/10.

4. Start preaching

This is a Nigerian favourite. Once you discover that you don’t have money on you, clear your throat and say “My brothers and sisters, let’s bow our heads in prayer.” Even the conductor might close his eyes. Let’s hope the driver doesn’t. Rated 8/10.

5. Pretend you have amnesia

First of all, shout “Where am I?” This should be enough to draw attention. Pretend like you don’t know how you got there. The conductor will drop you and you’re home free. Pray that they don’t take you to a mental hospital. Rated 4/10.

This one isn’t bad either: 7 Reasons Why You Should Fear Igbo Women.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Zikoko Quiz: How safe are you from catching COVID-19?
May 15, 2020

With the shutdown of the holy city and the uncertainty of this year’s Ramadan, we spoke to three Muslim health workers. They tell us about juggling Ramadan with working on the frontline. A Special Kind Of Ramadan. Aminat (Nurse)  Ramadan hasn’t been very hard. The only difference is that I don’t get to eat what […]

September 24, 2019

So the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) recently mandated a charge (or fine) on any amount above a cash deposit of over 500k. It might sound like a big deal, and there was a social media outrage, but many people remain unlooking. The truth is most people are broke, so the issue doesn’t concern them […]

August 5, 2019

Every week, Zikoko asks anonymous people to give us a window into their relationship with the Naira. Some will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie–but all the time, it’ll be revealing. The subject of this week’s story just hit 18. He’s also at his first 9-5 ever, as an intern. When he’s not in Nigeria […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 8, 2022

It’s impossible to miss the massive buildup to Nigeria’s 2023 general elections — from presidential rallies and town halls to promising manifestos and even renewed friendships and rivalries.  Most Nigerians already have a sense of who they’d love to win the elections. But what if they get unlucky and their favourite candidate just happens to […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

More from Money

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X