8 Things You Definitely Heard From Your Nigerian Dad

November 6, 2020

It’s true that Nigerian mums have the best retorts and nothing can take this superpower away from them. But dads are not entirely bad in this area. I have compiled some of the things you likely heard your dad say in different situations in this post.

1. You and your mother should deal with it

This is for everything he couldn’t be bothered about. Alternatively, “It’s up to you and your mother” works too.

2. You’re not serious 

For the times he didn’t want to outrightly call you stupid

3. When I was younger… 

Prepare to listen to stories about how he used to walk 50 kilometres to school carrying his chair on his head and how you’re abusing your privilege.

4. I’ve paid our school fees. What else do you want?

What else could you possibly want, tbh?

5. You must think I harvest money from trees

Wait, you don’t?

6. Change the station to NTA

9 PM is the hour.

7. Make sure you give me my change 

Something he’s going to forget about.

8. You’re not doing me. You’re doing yourself

His lazy attempt at reprimand.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 23, 2021

People usually think skincare is feminine and a very stressful thing to do. Thing is, everybody should take care of their skin. And there are a few basic things you can do to make your skin healthier. 1. Do NOT use the same towel you use on your body on your face The same towel […]

August 28, 2020

How much do you know your dad? How much do you behave like him? Pause. Take a minute to think about it. Interlude: Hello Zikoko fam, something is coming soon. A series for men by men about men. Watch this space by 12 pm on Sunday: Play. How do you think you’ll measure up? Click […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from Man Dem

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X