4 Nigerian Men Talk About Their Worst Heartbreaks

March 23, 2021

Men, who are often considered the wreckers of relationships, are rarely considered as victims of heartbreak. I spoke to four Nigerian men about their experiences. Here’s what they had to say.

Bayo, 27

I’m always the one getting broken up with, so I have plenty of break up stories.

The first one dumped me for no reason. The second one met someone on Twitter and told me she wasn’t attracted to me anymore. She later found out the dude was engaged. The third one was asking me about marriage like a month after I moved to Lagos and because I told her I wasn’t thinking about marriage yet, she and her friends sent me a voice note calling me unprintable names. Last year, she reconnected and apologized and tried to rekindle the relationship. I later found out that at some point she tried to sleep with my best friend probably as a way to spite me.

But it’s the last one that pained me the most and the only relationship I ever regretted having. I really loved her but she was always paranoid because I was never jealous and we never got into fights. I always had to reassure her I wasn’t going anywhere. She had my phone password and replied to my messages. She would wake me up at 3 in the morning to comfort her till dawn. One time, I was hyping up my friends’ pictures and she got really mad because she thought I was flirting. She threw a tantrum and after I calmed her down, she said it was because she didn’t want to lose me. 

One day, out of the blue, she asked if I had ever cheated on her. She begged and pleaded for me to tell her, that she wouldn’t get mad. I kept reassuring her that I didn’t. The next day, she called me, upset and crying. I sent her funny videos, memes, sang for her, all in a bid to cheer her up, but she kept crying. The next day, she broke up with me, saying she didn’t feel the same way anymore. I asked if it was my fault but she said “you were perfect,” but she just didn’t like me anymore. I was broken. She asked me not to hate her and she left me standing where I was. I know she cheated on me and broke up with me out of guilt.

No breakup has hurt me that much because I looked back and felt so stupid because of the way I had invested myself in the relationship. It nearly turned me into a horrible person but I decided not to give her the power. 

Charles

I was in 100-level and this was my first proper girlfriend. She had stayed in my house for a couple of days and I had noticed she was moving funny and getting some strange calls. I’m not the type of guy to ask who was calling and all of that, so I let it slide. She told me she wanted to go meet her class rep to submit some assignments, blah blah blah. 

A couple of hours later, a couple of my guys invited me to go drink beer at a popular hotel near UNILORIN. We had a few drinks and I needed to pee. The path that leads to the toilet goes past some of the hotel rooms. As I was walking past, one of the rooms had its windows open and in the corner of my eye, I saw some people fucking. Lo and behold, it was my babe. I couldn’t believe it. I was paralysed in shock but I left. When I was breaking up with her, I was so macho and being a bad guy about it but when she left I just curled up into a ball on my bed and cried my eyes out into my pillow. It was so painful.

Leke

In 2018, I was dating one short BBW. Things were going all lovey-dovey until we had one minor argument. I can’t even remember what the argument was about but I apologised immediately but she continued to give me an attitude. Normally, I wouldn’t be bothered about walking away but I had fallen madly in love with her. I kept going to her house to apologise but she wasn’t having it, saying she needed a break. One day, I was going to her house with gifts when I met her outside her house, kissing another man. The guy had his hands all wrapped around her and was even rubbing her body. I was devastated. She saw me, made eye contact and looked away. I wanted to die. As per gentlemen, I turned back and headed back to my house with my tail between my legs. I had never felt so broken. When I got home, everyone was asking if I was fine and I said I was but deep inside, I was hurting badly. I’m never going to give anyone the chance to do that to me again.

Dubem

We were in med school together and had dated for four years. We lived together in the last two years of med school and had so many plans and dreams for our future. Six months to my graduation, she started deleting my pictures from her Instagram. When I asked why, she said her father just joined and might see it. I didn’t think much of it because I trusted her. I finally graduated and left for Nigeria.

One day, she called and asked me, “What if there’s someone better for both of us out there?” I was dumbfounded and she went on to say she needed a break. I asked for how long and she said two weeks. When I called after the agreed time, she said the break was the best two weeks of her life. She also said she needed someone who will spoil her silly and I barely send her any money asides the 20k I regularly gave her from my 98k housemanship salary. I wished her all the best because there’s nothing wrong with her wanting better, but inside I was devastated. It took me some time, but I healed. She taught me that you should never settle for less than you think you deserve.

Take this quick quiz: How Often Do You Cheat In Relationships?

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

More from Man Dem

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X