10 Money-Making Things Nigerian Men Can Do Outside of FitFam in 2022

January 13, 2022

Dear Nigerian men, it’s looking like the era of depending on your six-pack to take you to the top is over. Elusive cousins, dollars and pounds, are rising faster than your blood pressures, making the streets tough as hell for y’all. This means that the time has come for you fit fam men to stop working out like you’re trying to get cast as the next Gentle Jack and find ways to diversify your portfolios. If you’re with me, keep reading for tips, and be blessed. 

1. Beg Zikoko to employ you 

Thankfully, I’ve been able to hack this one. For the rest of you, the time has come for you to lip-sync for your life, dust off that CV, hunt down Zikoko editors, and start begging them like you’re a salesman convincing people in public transport to buy sketchy-looking staphylococcus medication from you. May the odds be in your favour. 

2. Invest in selling Akara 

Last year, it was shockingly revealed that Akara sellers make approximately N30,000 a day. While this insane claim might have been made by a not-so-reliable source, there’s no harm in trying. If you do the math and work weekends, you could earn close to N1 Million a month. Is Akara the new tech? You’re about to find out.

3. Learn how to sew

If, like Abuja men, you know what’s up, you’d know that starting an overpriced trad-making “fashion” label is the way to go. To effectively scam people into paying N100,000 for up and down, you’ll need to build your social media presence. I believe you can do it sha. Go forth and rob people, you fraudulent king.

4. Do whookup 

This might not get you money, but it guarantees you premium orgasms. I’d rather be a broke man getting proper orgasms twice a day, than a broke nigga lifting weights made out of stone like I’m an Israelite slave in Egypt. Check and balance it, na. 

5. Buy and sell sardines

You have to be living under a rock not to have noticed the rapid increase in the price of sardines. This is your time to think ahead of the crowd and make business moves that could make you the next Dangote. Start out small with one of these unknown brands and by December you might be selling Titus. Wow!

6. Hunt down and trap a tech bro or sis with your sexual prowess 

You don’t need to be able to code or even be interested in working to  get into the tech scene. There are several other ways of “entering,” if you know what I mean. *winks terribly* All of us will enjoy this national tech cake last last, either by using our brains or some of the other organs heaven gave us. The end justifies the means. 

7. Scatter people’s relationship 

If the universe (i.e the tiny voice in your head) says that someone’s woman/man is yours, who are you to go against fate? That being said, only listen to the universe when it’s directing you to someone’s rich partner. If you investigate and the person is poor, tell the universe to clean its glasses and look again. Poverty is not our portion. 

8. Read “Rich Dad Poor Dad”

I don’t know what the book is about, and I haven’t met anyone who became rich after reading it. But the  book is famous for allegedly opening people’s minds to the secrets of success. Take risk and succeed. If all fails, you can join “intellectual” Twitter and kiki at their financial literacy jokes.

9. Learn how to code

Some of us have tried this and failed because our brains said “bitch, you can’t.” There may still be hope for you sha. Join tech Twitter and hustle your way into one of these startups that keep popping up. Who knows? You just might become the next big tech CEO who tweets wildly problematic hot takes and gets dragged for them every two weeks.

10. Become an Instagram/TikTok Influencer

If you’re complaining about this being stressful and time consuming, remember that deadlifting, squatting, preacher curls and bench presses are worse. It’s time for you to do all the challenges you see online until brands start reaching out to collaborate. Taymesan doesn’t have two heads.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

More from Man Dem

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X