Huge thanks to @TygressAndy
for the inspiration behind this post.
1. When you go through his phone and his social media and find nothing.
Your man is James Bond. He’s cheating.
2. When you’re out on a date and bae starts using fork and knife (and not a spoon) to eat rice.
You know his side chick been giving him etiquette lessons.
3. When he uses you as his profile picture across all social media platforms.
Why so much effort to show me to the world?!
4. And if during the meal, your boyfriend starts chewing differently…
…his side chicks have been teaching new chewings.
5. When you’re home together and he presses the toothpaste from the bottom and not the middle.
Those new manners are suspect!
6. When you make food for him and he finishes it.
Ugh! His side chicks aren’t even feeding him.
7. When you make food for him and he doesn’t finish it, ask him to confess.
Which of your hoes has been feeding you?
8. When he introduces you to his friends as his main chick and his ‘ride or die’.
Come, who is now the ‘ride and not die’?
9. When he sends you a good morning text before you even wake up.
You have to wonder which of his side chicks bought him airtime.
10. When he apologizes after drama that you caused.
WHO THE HELL IS TEACHING YOU PATIENCE?!
11. When he makes you cum 5 seconds quicker than usual.
And now you’re wondering which of his hoes he’s been practicing with.
12. When you tell him you’ve had a bad day and he hugs you.
How did he know that sad girls need hugs? Which girl told him that secret?
13. When it’s been 4 whole weeks and you haven’t had a fight.
He’s definitely been fighting with someone else.
14. When he just surprises you with gifts randomly.
I wonder what he’s secretly apologizing for…