1. Your parents keep asking about your prospects.
I can’t tell the future, sir.
2. Or worrying if you’d still be able to have kids.
Will my ovaries just dry up?
3. Or insisting you’re getting too old.
…even though you’re like thirty!
4. Your aunties trying to set you up with their friends’ doctor son.
But I don’t know him now!
5. All your friends think they can solve your singleness.
Thanks, but no thanks.
6. Twitter says you’re “too opinionated”, so you won’t find a Nigerian man to marry you.
Your brain. Where is it?
7. “Don’t get a PhD degree, men don’t like over-smart women”.
You don’t say!
8. Guys with nothing to offer approaching because they think you’ll be desperate enough to accept.
God, See my life!
9. People asking why you broke up with your last boyfriend.
I was self sabotaging. Okay?
10. People asking what you feel if your younger sister gets married before you.
More power to her!>
11. Then they say “You’re so nice, I wonder why you’re still single”.
Err..because I am!
12. Your parents asking you to stop looking for love and just marry someone.
And you’re here thinking “Am I that sad?”=
13. You’re always the third, fifth and seventh wheel.
Come along, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.
14. And the designated photographer of your happy couple friends.
Stop. Smiling. I can’t else they’d say I’m bitter.
15. No one understands that you just want to be single right now.
I mean, it’s a choice…
16. Everyone keeps saying, “You’ll soon find someone”.
17. Or that you have to love yourself before someone can love you.
Go on, please!
18. You’re secretly excited when your friends break up.
Oh I’m so sorry you guys broke up..LOL!
19. Or when their spouses don’t show up for events.
“Who needs them anyway? We’ll still have fun without them.”
20. Catching up with old friends always means awkwardly answering the “So, are you seeing anyone?” question.
No. But I still have me.
21. You’re a master at having crushes
But a relationship novice.
22. People tiptoe around you when relationships topics come up.
Jeez! I won’t break down in tears.
23. If there’s an event you want to go to, you have to decide if you want to go badly enough that it’s worth going alone because of all the questions above.
But it really isn’t. “I immediately regret this decision” – You say to yourself, after you go.
24. Especially weddings.
25. Or Valentine’s day.
26. You blush every time Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” comes on.
Too close to home.
27. Even you start to wonder if you’re going to be forever alone.
28. But then you realize that you’re loving the single life.
Because let’s face it, relationships aren’t that great.