1. “You mess, akpu fly gate.”
It makes no sense, but it still used to pain.
2. “You mess, all the fishes in the water say ‘are we safe?'”
The ajepako was strong with this one.
3. “You mess, harmattan catch eba.”
4. “You mess, 5 akara form voltron.”
5. “You mess, Babangida repeat primary 1.”
Why did we drag Babangida into it?
6. “2 kuli kuli attack your village, nobody escape.”
The kuli kuli must have been a badass.
7. “The finest girl for your village, na monkey dey toast am.”
Why did this even pain us?
8. “The strongest man for your village, na hot eba kill am.”
This still makes no sense.
9. “The tallest man for your village dey use ladder climb maggi.”
Why is he even climbing maggi?
10. “The richest man for your village dey use shovel drink garri.”
Wetin concern me?
11. “Your scatter scatter teeth like James Bond bullet.”
Kai! This one used to pain.
12. “You shit here, shit here, shit here, dey find the LCM.”
This one was just extra razz.
13. “You bombastic element.”
Still don’t know what this means, but it used to pain.
14. “American dusting powder.”
Every primary school girl’s favourite insult.
15. “Born by mistake.”
16. “Water and garri make eba on your wedding day.”
The most annoying answer to “what?”
17. “Tear tear, patch patch, omo baba shoemaker.”
When you hear this song, you know there is hole somewhere.
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