When you’re eating out with your friends and they keep asking you to finish up quickly
But wait, is it your food?
It’s hard watching your friends finish their food before you
How do you do it?
Dealing with waiters giving you the stink eye after they’ve come to clear the table for the third time but you still aren’t done
Sorry oh. It’s not my fault.
When your siblings crowd around you to take from your plate
Away, you devils. Shoo!
And the grief your mum gives you
She will probably throw something spiritual into the mix.
The microwave is your culinary best friend
How your co-workers look at you because you’re always the last person to finish lunch
Don’t you people have a job to do, though?
You, when you finally find another slow eater
You’re my new best friend if you want it or not.