1. When all your friends are in relationships and nobody wants to hang out with you anymore.
All of you will soon break up.
2. Then you spot that fine boy.
I’m ready to devour you sir.
3. But you’re not sure if he’s a Yoruba demon.
If he’s a demon, then I’m a demon.
4. So you decide to send him a message.
Please don’t shatter my dreams, please don’t crush my heart.
5. Then he replies your message and subsequently falls into your trap.
6. And you both fall in love with each other.
Bye bye single life!
7. When you have your first kiss.
Mills and boons where are my sparks?
8. Then you start to giggle each time you stare at your screen, and people look at you like you’re crazy.
Yes O. The spell of love. Don’t hate.
9. Then a random person starts flirting with bae.
Somebody wants to die.
10. You talk to bae about it and y’all have a huge fight.
Could this be the end?
11. Then people want to start toasting you randomly.
Where were all of you when I was single to stupor?
12. But deep down inside you miss bae.
What is this nonsense now?
13. So you decide to swallow your pride and apologise.
Ha ha. In your face haters!
14. And you have a long funny conversation afterwards.
Maybe the fight was worth the laughter.
15. Then bae has to go to school in another country.
Shebi they said absence makes the heart grow fonder. Then you remember ‘out of sight, out of mind’.
16. And you ask your parents if you can move there too and they say no.
*Cries in exchange rate*
17. And you wonder who sent you to fall in love.
I was on my own jeje and you came to love me.
18. And suddenly your life is an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet.
Who knew that heartbreak could hurt so much.
19. And you have to lay in a pool of your own tears.
At this rate, a swimming pool might be forming.
20. Then you remember your toasters.
Maybe it’s not the end of the world.
Written by Zikoko Contributor Barakat Sheriff