15 Things You’ll Recognise If You Went To Teenage Church

August 8, 2016

1. When you turn 13 and can now officially leave children’s church.

We move!!

2. How you look at your 12 year old friends still in children’s church.

Look at them. So young and naive. Unlike us; big boys and girls that know about the world.

3. You looking for a clique to join in teens church.

I need a crew oh!

4. When you realise the snacks are not as nice as children’s church.

Are these ones serious?

5. When you find out there is still memory verse and homework.

I did not grow for this!

6. When you realise this is just a time wasting exercise till you get to “adult church”.

Okay so we are just here to waste 4 years of Sundays abi?

7. When your Sunday school teachers say you’ll be talking about sex and relationships next week.


8. When next week comes and they spend 2 hours saying “don’t have sex”/ “don’t near yourselves” in 500 different ways.

So that is all you people have to say?

9. When they try to stylishly use teenagers to teach some of the Sunday school classes.

Okay so we are now assistant teachers abi? Are we corpers?

10. When you are dancing to Kirk Franklin’s “stomp” again for the 700th time.

Not again abeg!

11. When one of your oversabi pastors says you have to delete all your “worldly” music.

So it’s only Chioma Jesus and Ron Kenoly we should be jamming abi?

12. When they allow teenagers lead adult church and someone suggests you preach.

You want the congregation to never come back abi?

13. When your parents try to add mouth in what you are wearing to church.

What do you people know about teenagers fashions please?

14. When your sme-sme friends are now forming Mummy and Daddy G-O in teens church.

You people are now forming holier than thou abi?

15. When you are now too old for teen church but you don’t want to go to adult church!


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