1. When EVERYONE keeps trying to set you up:
I’m not desperate yet, abeg.
2. This is what your call log looks like:
Yes, this is my actual call log. No it’s not pathetic. *cleans tears* STOP JUDGING ME!!!
3. At this point, it has kind of become a do or die thing.
It’s not even a laughing matter again.
4. This is you hanging out with your friends:
Why do I even bother leaving the house anymore?
5. How your friends in relationships look at you:
6. These are the only type of messages you get:
You’re in a loving and committed relationship with your service provider. At least Etisalat will never cheat on you.
7. This is how you flirt now:
‘Awkward’ is kind of an understatement at this point.
8. When you realize you’re still single and the year is almost over:
A whole 365 days will soon pass and I am still in this same condition.
9. You have no idea how to tell if someone even likes you or not:
The worst side-effect of forever aloneness (that’s a word, right?)
10. When people ask “how are you still single?”
…because I’m ugly. Happy now?
11. Your relationship goals:
I changed my mind. I’ll take what I can get.
12. When it becomes a family issue.
13. This is your new year resolution:
2016 is our year people.
14. When people ask about your love life:
Please stop asking.
15. This is currently the only soul mate you have in your life:
I’m not even mad.