1. When you’re cooking indomie and NEPA decides to be unfortunate.
Thier plan is to starve you to death!
2. How people queue up in front of Shop 10:
You people will not go for classes abi?
3. When you finish eating at Salado and they show you the bill.
This small food? Abeg, lemme vomit it o!
4. You, when your crush sees you eating beans in front of Jaja.
Let me hide my shame o!
5. When you run to Iya Moria to buy their bomb rice and it has finished.
My enemies are not sleeping.
6. You, when you discover the pounded yam at Computer!
Why have you people been hiding this greatness from me?
7. When you get to Alhaja’s shop in 2001 Cafeteria and they don’t have plantain.
What do you mean? What are you now selling here?
8. When you’re in school on Sunday and NO ONE bothers to open for you!
Hunger has taken control of my body already now.
9. You and the suya mallams in Moremi are like:
You will now top it with cold garri and milk.
10. When someone nice now surprises you with free Chicken and Chips!
My number 1 padi!
11. When you buy take-away food and you start praying your roommates are not in the hostel.
My God in heaven, help me send all those beggy-beggy roommates away o!
12. Your roommates, when they now see you bringing food to the room.
Their own is for food only!
13. How you enter Olaiya, because you know they always have amala.
The realest canteen on campus!