Nigerian weddings are the best from the small chops to the outfits to the music, what’s not to love? Well, these ten things.
You’ll spend 4 hours in Lagos traffic trying to get to a wedding, you get there and they tell you food has finished.
Better bring out the small chops if you don’t want me to show my true colours
When your primary school friend’s sister’s cousin brings a bill for Aso-Ebi for her wedding
Where do I know you from, please?
When you get a wedding invitation for yet another Saturday you wanted to spend in your bed
Must you people marry sef?
When your friend brings the Aso-Ebi bill and it’s almost the same amount as your monthly salary
Are you trying to send me to an early grave
When after buying 50k Aso-Ebi the person serving small chops tries to walk past you
Do you think I’m here to play? Abi you thought the Aso-Ebi was free?
When they tell you that the wedding is strictly by invitation so you stroll in at 4 expecting to find a seat
It’s first come first serve my brother
How the bouncers block you if you make the mistake of coming without your invitation
Ahan it’s wedding now not Escape
When they tell you it’s a destination wedding after you’ve paid for the Aso-Ebi
Did I tell you I have money to go to Enugu, you want me to follow you to Seychelles??!!
When the couple tells you it’s just a small wedding so you keep it simple only for you to get to the wedding and it’s bigger than OLIC
So you people’s plan was to disgrace me
After buying Aso-Ebi and the souvenir doesn’t get to you
You people had better go and bring out my own bucket