This post exists because we are tired of some people who wake up and decide to give you headaches with the way they type. We have diagnosed and are still diagnosing the problem, but in the meantime, here are questions for you people.
1. Is it PTSD from days of 150 characters in a text message?
We get that you sometimes abbreviate because of limited text space. That’s understandable. But why do you keep abbreviating when you use an app that allows you to type freely? Is it PTSD?
2. What do you do with those extra letters that you deliberately remove?
Do you eat them? Keep it for Christmas? Grind it into powder and drink it? We’re genuinely curious.
3. Do you get an orgasm when you deliberately murder words?
Didn’t as ddnt; cute as qt; you’re welcome as uw; baby as bby… Tell us, is there some coital pleasure in it?
4. What exactly is your autocorrect doing?
Why does it sit there and watch you murder words? Is your autocorrect produced by Jenifa?
5. And finally, if someone gives you money to type correctly, will you listen?
After all, money solves everything. So answer us. Is money the issue?
