There’s nothing worse than running into someone who you’ve definitely met before (based on their reaction to seeing you) but can’t remember. Because then, you’d have to stop them in the middle of their greetings and go:

“Who are you?”

Which will then lead to you witnessing the look on their face change from excitement to embarrassment, and the sinking feeling in your stomach that’ll come from knowing you caused that.

This happened to me a couple of times in the past and it sucked. Which is why I came up with a way to hack the system. Read and learn, ladies and gents.

1) Raise your excitement levels to match the person’s own.

This is important because they’re reacting based on the relationship (they think) they have with you. If you show too much excitement or not enough, they’ll clock that something is wrong.

2) Even though your mind will be working overtime to remember who the hell they are, you face must NEVER show it.

Because looking like someone just attacked you with a complex maths question when talking to someone you’re supposed to be happy to see will expose you as the forgetful fraud you are.

3) Because you can’t remember their name, use a random friendly term of endearment whenever you have to call them by name.

Be sure to throw in compliments. Compliments keep them happy.

4) If they make reference to some past event you both experienced together and expect you to chime in, respond with this:

Works every time.

5) At the end of your conversation, ask them if they still use the same number and pretend to check your phone for it. When you don’t find (because you never had it in the first place), ask them to give it to you so you can look up their name in True Caller.

All hail technology!

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