We Can Tell What Kind Of Salary Earner You Are

March 19, 2020

So, you wake up grudgingly every morning to go and grind while muttering under your breath that adulthood is the ghetto. At the end of each cycle of tiredness, wetin be dis-ness, and all-round I-am-not-doing-again, you get paid.

Well, depending on how you manage your finances on/after payday, we can tell what kind of salary earner you are.

1) If you always have a large reserve of money before payday then you’re a go-getter who has their life planned out.

Pls. Do giveaway.

2) If your salary doesn’t finish before it lands in your account from all the accumulated gbese, then you are a 5-star adult and you must give us masterclass.

Pls.

3) If you ever feel guilty that your salary is more than the work you are doing, we are not so sure you can handle greatness oh.

Fix up.

4) If you are a civil servant, we prefer not to speak on this matter.

If we speak we are in big trouble.

5) Please, if you are using your salary to play 2 odds and baba Ijebu, stop it.

That behaviour ended in 2019.

6) See, if you don’t remember that you haven’t been paid for the month then you are our new best friend. You must be a Trust fund kid.

begging ielts zikoko

Please check your dm for our account number.

What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

Hassan Yahaya

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

December 7, 2019

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 25-year-old heterosexual woman who recently discovered the joys of sex under the influence of marijuana, and now sober sex doesn’t cut it for her.  When did you have your first sexual experience? My first kiss was with a girl when I was about 12. In my head, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 18, 2021

The subject of today’s Man Like is Timileyin, a project and facilities manager. He talks about his father’s imprint on his character, how his parents’ marriage guides his approach to romantic relationships and why crying is therapeutic. When did you realise you were a man? Every time I open an episode of ‘Man Like‘ and […]

April 17, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 29-year-old gay man whose sexual addiction ruined his three-year relationship. He talks about how the end of his relationship made him realise he has […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

More from Inside Life

April 17, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 29-year-old gay man whose sexual addiction ruined his three-year relationship. He talks about how the end of his relationship made him realise he has […]

April 16, 2021

Queue to withdraw your own money, buy food, do your laundry, pay bills and even collect change. Why all this? You could be channeling that time into securing the bag. *Squeezes face* 1. Disrupts your plans Don’t bother accepting invitations anywhere, because by the time it gets to your turn on long queues, the event […]

April 16, 2021

A year from its initial cancellation, Euro 2020 is finally back. The clock is ticking for this summer’s delayed festival of football, and it’s a first in that it’s had a 12-month deferral. Much changed in the time between, and stadiums across Europe are now under pressure to consider how to proceed. The fact is […]

April 15, 2021

Elsa Majimbo is a 19-year-old old comedian, celebrity and internet sensation who came to the limelight by making very funny and relatable content on her Instagram page. We’ll have typically begged her to cut soap for us, but where’s the fun in that when we can just blow like her. Here’s a list of very […]

April 15, 2021

During a random conversation with a friend, Sierra*, a few weeks ago, she mentioned that her mum passed several years ago and that she has never met her dad. I couldn’t stop thinking about the story the whole evening. On the following day, I hit her up to ask if she would be open to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X