10 Times Fat People Have The Urge To Punch You In The Throat

September 3, 2019

It’s a well-known fact that Nigerians can be fucking rude. But there’s an extra level of disrespect they give to fat people, regardless of if they’re familiar with them or not. It’s even more annoying because when the recipients of this disrespect react angrily, they’re told to calm down because “it’s just jokes.”

Annoying ass jokes like:

1) When people meet you for the first time and start calling you “Biggie” or “orobo“.

At least TRY to be original.

2) When people call you Yokozuna (after the professional wrestler) like you haven’t already heard that like a thousand times.

Someone get Netflix on the phone!

3) When you’re about to sit in a chair and someone jokes about how it might collapse under your weight if you don’t sit gently.

Hell will reject you too because its residents hate stupidity.

4) When random people start giving you health advice you sure as hell didn’t ask them for.

Isn’t your mother the type to REALLY sit around the house when she sits around the house? Go advise her.

5) When a bus conductor jokes about charging you for two seats.

Try me.

6) When you run into friends you haven’t seen in a while and they start your interaction with a line about how you’ve gotten fatter.

Were you raised by animals?

7) When someone jokes about all your clothes (including underwear) being tailor-made because you can’t possibly find your size in the market.

Oh, you didn’t know?

8) When someone offers you food but you turn it down and they act surprised.

Take your food and get out.

9) When someone jokes about how much they could make selling your body parts in the market.

Also, I’m calling the police.

10) When someone makes a joke about you possibly crushing your partner during sex.

Low blow, man. Low blow.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 14, 1800

When you’ve spent at least two decades on this giant piece of rock floating around the universe, you start to get used to its routine. And that’s great because routines help ensure that your life doesn’t devolve into chaos. However, a downside is that you start to see the world less like a bright-eyed child […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

More from Inside Life

May 5, 2022

“I hate the internal conflict that comes with the holiday. Why am I even celebrating? Do I agree with most of the teachings and doctrines? Am I still a Muslim? I’d also love to celebrate knowing that I am fully accepted, not tolerated, and loved by my family, regardless of my identity.”

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X