This Is For You If You’ve Tried Clubbing And Hated It


January 15, 2020

The nightclub is marketed as the best place where you could relieve some of the stress that comes with the adulting package, but it does exactly opposite that. If this post is anything to go by, it’s a weird way to have fun.

When you get to the club and meet the bouncers at the entrance

Oh, the police are here too. Nothing good comes out of a place where there are people in uniform.

When the bouncers won’t let you go in until you give them something


give me my money GIF by Beat Shazam

As I said, people in uniform are the worst.

When you finally enter and the first things that greet you are the darkness and the heat

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Why is everywhere so dark, and why am I sweating already? Is this hell?

Then you realise how hard it is to push through the hordes of people

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Why are there so many people here?

You, when you find out that your friends have deserted you

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Look at the betrayal.

When you ask for a drink and find out you have to pay triple the usual price

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How am I supposed to have fun when I’m being robbed.

You, screaming out your lungs to have a conversation with someone

But why is everything so loud.

When you think the music couldn’t be louder but the DJ was just getting started

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Are you trying to make me lose hearing in one ear or both?

You, struggling to stay awake

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To think that I have a comfortable bed at home.

The struggle of finding a cab to take you home when the party is over

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Nothing says ghetto better than finding a ride home at 3 AM.

The splitting headache that rouses you from sleep the next morning

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Ah, the nightmare is not over?

When you check your banking app and see red everywhere

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NEVER AGAIN!!!

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.