It’s a few days to the new year, which means that it’s time to evaluate all your relationships. If you’re struggling with deciding who to cut off next year, stop stressing. This article will help you figure it out.
1. Your boss
How can you say “New year, new me”, while calling someone oga? 2022 is your year to become an independent bad bitch. Nobody should stress you by making you work or trying to make you better on their own terms. You’re perfect the way you are. Immediately we cross into the new year, quit your job without a notice and block your boss/colleagues. All my independent bitches, make some noise!
2. People you’re owing money
Nobody disturbs like people that have loaned you money and want it back. What is it, sef? Because of ordinary money you borrowed from them, they’ll be calling you like you killed their mother and stuffed her corpse in the trunk of your car. Some of them even go as far as throwing subs on Twitter. There’s no space for all that nonsense in 2022. Cut off all your creditors and become the ultimate onigbese!
3. If you’re a man, your dad
In big 2022, why are you as a man still calling someone daddy? There’s just too many things wrong with it. Cut that nigga off.
4. Short people
The problem with short people is that they refuse to grow. No matter how many years you stick by them, they remain ridiculously close to the ground. If that’s not a sign that you should cut someone off, I don’t know if you’re taking your life seriously. Abi, do you want someone to drag you down forever?
5. People in relationships
These days, people are not getting in relationships because of love anymore. They’re doing it to taunt single people with stupid “This man… This woman” tweets, cute couple pictures, wedding ceremonies, and babies. LEAVE US ALONE. If you’re single, don’t enter 2022 with your friends in relationships unless your plan is to scatter it.
6. Lactose intolerant people
Lactose intolerant people are the goats of the human race. The thing is, they KNOW that taking dairy products will fuck them up, yet they go ahead to do it. To make matters worse, they complain about stomach aches and expect pity instead of suffering the consequences of their actions alone. The lactose intolerant people in your life have two options; they can either grow up and start properly digesting dairy or get cut off. Their choice.
7. Your in-laws
These are the people your husband is calling mummy, and your wife is calling daddy. They can even beat their chest and say they’ve known your spouse longer than you. Does that sound right to you?
8. Plant owners
People will throw ewedu inside a flower pot and start acting like they’re a part of the 1%. Excuse me sir, we know you have 5 plants and they all have names that represent how you feel each day of the week. WE HAVE HEARD YOU!
9. Your partner
If your partner cannot survive an entire year without you, they’re not good enough for you. What if you die? Ehn?
