I may be alone here, but when I was younger, December was all about family.
It was the one time when everyone would come home from around the country and my Uncle Leke would visit with a trunk filled with Fan Ice.
Then I grew up and learned that everyone reacts to December in a different way.
Christmas always draws some weirdness out of the most familiar people – and some new people into your periphery.
There are the people who have moved to Lagos for the holidays to make a point.
“Them think say them get two heads”, “this Lagos, we go rock am”, he says to the boys at the Ojota park as he gets in an Uber to Agungi on a Friday night.
They don’t realise the people who really have money to spend are around too.
Complete with their newly-downloaded Scottish accents and a currency that has been carrying shoulder for a while.
The people who can’t speak ‘innit’ that you see around them in the club are their old friends from Nigerian universities.
A truly symbiotic relationship.
But while they’re trying to spend money, some people are looking to make it.
It’s like they hibernate till November and wake up to sell bales of Christmas lace to unwitting masses.
You can’t possibly miss the guy who has sacrificed their souls to Christmas cheer.
He’ll start wearing Christmas hats to work on December 1. He’s the same guy who’ll suggest you have a bootleg Father Christmas at the office end-of-year party.
Unlike those who suddenly get tired of life and swear to change the world next year.
The Patron Saints of New Year’s Resolutions and Getting Drunk on January 1st.
There are, of course, the joyless who don’t see what the fuss is about
You can listen to their TED talk on how Christmas is a consumer product.
Some people are just thankful for the opportunity to rest
Can a human sleep for three days straight? Let’s find out.
And then there’s you – you just came here to eat.
A December to remember in kilograms.
Most times, though, December just forces you to look back at all you have to be thankful for
“Count ya blessings, name them one by one”
