You’ve just heard of ‘Wolf of Wall Street’, a movie about a young and successful business mogul and you go to 02tvseries to download it. The opening credits are rolling when your mom walks in and says “Ah ah, Femi, let me join to watch this film since they’re just starting”
“Ok ma.”
You’ve not gone too far into the movie and now Leonardo DiCaprio is about to do something nasty. You’re sitting there hoping it’s nothing more than kissing but he has other plans.
Here are all the stages you go through:
1. Prayer
“God, please I hope they’re not about to do what I think they’re about to do. Please let them just kiss and go. Please God, I’m begging you. Please.”
2. Silence
They’ve finished offing cloth now. You know it’s going to happen. You sit there in silence plotting your escape. Do you fast forward the movie? Do you stand up and walk out? You glance at your mother. She’s looking straight ahead at the screen.
3. Complete awkwardness
You didn’t stand up to pause the movie, now they’re moaning, screaming, changing positions. And you’re just there hoping for the ground to swallow you up. You scratch your head, shuffle your feet. But inside, you are dying.
4. Action
Now Leonardo DiCaprio is doing too much. You must stand up and get out of there. Just say something like “Oh shit I left something on fire” and japa.
5. Denial
It’s over now and absolutely nothing happened. Sex? What’s that? Nothing happened, please. Let’s focus on the rest of the movie. Everyone is dressed now.
You feel like the ground is about to swallow you, but deep down you know you’re going to watch the movie again. This time, alone.
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