Sex Life: I’m Ready To Retire From The Streets

September 19, 2020

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.


The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 26-year-old bisexual man who’s slept with over 200 people. He talks about struggling to accept his sexuality and wanting to leave “the streets” for the right person.

What was your first sexual experience?

I was assaulted when I was 10. I went to the village for my grandmother’s burial and one of my aunt’s friends took an uncomfortable liking to me. She kept referring to me as her husband and everyone just laughed it off.

She would call me to sit on her lap and rub her hands through my hair. I wasn’t comfortable with the attention because I just wanted to go play football with my cousins. I really only tolerated it out of respect.

She eventually made me kiss her — that was my first-ever kiss. After that, she told me to come to her room. Luckily for me, I told my sister before I went. I think she was a little suspicious because she decided to go with me.

How old was your sister?

Just a year and a half older than me, but she was already in secondary school, so she was a bit more aware. I was completely oblivious to what was happening. Anyway, we got to her room and this woman was naked.

My sister just said, “Mummy is calling us” and dragged me out of there. My mum found out about everything and we left the village that same night. I guess she didn’t want to cause a scene because it was a burial.

Damn. Sorry about that. Do you remember your first consensual experience?

Yeah. I was in SS 1. I had a girlfriend and we used to make out. It was nothing serious; just basic secondary school romance. The first time I actually had sex was in university. I was 17 and she was 20.

How was it?

It was meh. I couldn’t believe that this was the sex everyone had been shouting about. Thankfully, it got better. The more we got to know each other, the more I enjoyed sleeping with her.

How long did that last?

We hooked up for about six more months. After that, it felt like a switch had been flipped in my head. I was just running through women with reckless abandon. All I really cared about was busting a nut. 

Were you actually enjoying all the sex you were having?

I thought I was. At the time, I didn’t know sex could be better. 

When did you realise it could be better?

I met someone and we instantly connected, both sexually and emotionally. We got to explore together. Basically, we would find new things and consult each other on what to try out. 

I think it really helped that we also had an emotional connection. That’s when I realised that sex with someone you have that kind of bond with is top-tier. Everything else is just basic.

So, you only have sex with women you have that bond with?

Unfortunately not. Konji is a bastard. I’ve tried to form that connection, but I’m in Lagos and everyone wants to belong to the streets. I’m a big softie when I like someone — gifts, vacations and money — but Lagos has taught me that not everyone deserves that.

How do you mean?

I was dating this babe and paying her rent, but she still cheated on me. I was so depressed. I’d be washing plates and just start crying for no reason. Now, I’m trying to protect myself, but it goes against my nature. 

Damn. So, what’s sex like for you without that connection?

I try to make sure the women enjoy themselves. My head game is A1 — I’ve not had a bad review so far — and when they’ve had their fill of orgasms, I just jerk myself off because penetrative sex ko le work without that connection.

I don’t tell them that I find it difficult to orgasm without that bond because they’ll see it as a challenge and become weird. So, most times, I just fake it. I still don’t count these experiences as bad because I legitimately enjoy giving pleasure.

Interesting. What’s your sex life like these days? 

Almost non-existent. There’s someone I’m currently seeing who’s in an open relationship, but the sex is kinda mid. There’s one woman I thought I could have something special with, but she still wants to belong to the streets.

At this point, I’m not too picky. As long as I find you attractive and you have sense, we move. I’m a bit pickier with men though. There are just not a lot of men that I actually find attractive.

Oh? When did you realise you were attracted to men too?

I was in secondary school when I realised something was different. I tried to kiss one of my friends, but he brushed me off. We never discussed it. Years later, I met a man at a club in New York and we randomly made out in the bathroom.

I felt so alive.

Did you explore your sexuality after that?

I tried using dating apps to meet men, but everyone only seemed interested in having sex. I wasn’t ready for that. I’m still not. The most I’ve done with a guy is make out and get head. 

Why do you think that is?

I haven’t yet let go of my inhibitions. If I’m being honest, I’m still a bit homophobic towards myself. The first time I had oral sex with a man, I had a shower and almost scrubbed off my skin. 

I’m still a work in progress. Thankfully, I’ve made a few queer friends that have shown me I don’t have to rush anything. I mean, one of them came to terms with it in his 30s, so they’re insisting that I take my time. 

That’s great. So, what exactly are you looking for right now?

Honestly, I’m tired of the streets. I’m ready to retire and focus my time and energy on just one person. Then both of us can explore and have as many sexual adventures as we want. 

When you were on the streets, how often were you having sex?

It was basically every day. I stopped counting at around 200, and it went well beyond that. At a point, I was waking up with a different woman in my bed every day. So, yeah, I’ve been there, done that and I’m now tired.

Over 200? And this is just women?

Just women. If I count oral sex with men, then I’d have to multiply by like 1.5. I take my sexual health very seriously though, so I always go for a checkup every month. At this point, my doctor is my guy.

Good. So, you’re actively looking for “the one” now?

Yeah, but if I bust a nut along the way, then so be it. I have to enjoy the journey too.

Fair. Have you met anyone that has come close to filling that position for you?

There’s this older woman I had a thing with, but she’s moved away. It was so beautiful. I’m actually planning to go see her soon. She wants us to make a sex tape, and I’m glad because I’ll have something to watch and reminisce whenever I feel down. 

Unfortunately, we’re both at different points in our lives and I don’t think we can be committed to each other, but for now, this suffices. I feel safe, myself and at peace whenever I’m with her. She’s the closest I’ve gotten to “the one”.

How would you rate your sex life on a scale of 1 to 10?

A 4. I’m having okay sex, but the woman I really want to be sleeping with isn’t around. Who did I offend in my previous life to have issues like this? Just when I’m ready to leave the streets. This life no too balance. 


Check back every Saturday by 12pm for new stories in the Sex Life series. If you would like to get this story in your mail before everyone else — complete with inside gist that doesn’t make the final cut, sign up here. Catch up on older stories here.

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

April 22, 2021

Puberty is a period of changes in an adolescent’s body. It can also be a very confusing period for them if they aren’t armed with the right information. From breaking voices to hair growing where it shouldn’t, I spoke to five Nigerian men about experiencing puberty. Ben Puberty didn’t take me by surprise because my […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

June 15, 2021

As a Nigerian, sometimes you need to remind yourself that you are in the best country in the world. 1) We have delicious suya and kilishi Regulate open grazing? No. Ban Twitter? Yes. Ban Cryptocurrency? Yes. Why? Because Suya and Kilishi >>>>> Technological advancement. It’s quite simple really. 2) “Over raw” best in world rankings […]

June 15, 2021

Adulting is a scam and anyone who’s above 18 can attest to that. We are all tired of the daily ghetto adulting is, which is why we’ve come up with very helpful tips on how to escape it: 1.Change the year on your date of birth. Are you really an adult if the government doesn’t […]

June 15, 2021

Nigeria’s inflation rate hit 18.17% in March 2021 according to the Consumer Price Index report released by the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS). The past couple of months have seen an uneven increase in the cost of things, and this has among other things, eroded the purchasing power of the average Nigerian. We spoke to […]

June 15, 2021

The Future of Hiring Lawyers During COVID-19 and Beyond for 200 Million Nigerians With the spread of COVID-19, most industries have adjusted their standard practices of conducting business. The legal profession is no exception, with TalkCounsel at the helm redefining the legal experience for countless Nigerians. TalkCounsel’s digital workspace hosts vetted lawyers that offer a […]

Recommended Quizzes

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

More from Sex Life

June 12, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a heterosexual 25-year-old man who became obsessed with penises when he realised his penis was small. He talks about how having a small penis affects his […]

June 9, 2021

Since heaven is the goal, but your body is not firewood, here are some of the best sex positions that won’t ruin your heavenly race. 1) Missionary The people that named this sex position knew what they were doing. It is simple, straight forward and as old as time. People that have sex like this […]

June 5, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year gay man who has a reputation for being a player. He talks about how his reputation for sleeping around is affecting his sex life and […]

May 29, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old heterosexual woman who finds sex triggering and struggles to maintain romantic and sexual relationships due to past horrible and violent sexual experiences. She talks […]

May 22, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 35-year-old woman who discovers she isn’t attracted to only men relatively late. She talks about finding out about her sexuality, how her husband helped her […]

May 15, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old gay man who recently discovered he is a side — a gay man who isn’t interested in penetrative sex. He talks about how this affects […]

May 7, 2021

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 32-year-old woman who decided to stop having sex after she turned 30. She talks her toxic sex life in her 20s and how this decision has helped her improve the quality of her life, relationship and friendships.

May 1, 2021

The subject of this week’s sex life is a 32-year heterosexual woman who is tired of having sex. She talks about her very sexually active 20s and how today, nothing about sex excites her especially sex with her husband. What was your first sexual experience? In secondary school, there was a guy that I would […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X