7 Nigerians Reveal Their Stories Of Being Vagmatised

July 15, 2020

Last week, we asked 7 Nigerians to share their stories of being dickmatised (losing their common sense because of good dick). Now, we’re back to see if being vagmatised is just as bad.

To discover how far the love of vagina can push seemingly logical people, we asked a bunch of straight men and queer women to share their stories. Here are 7 of the most interesting answers we got.

John, 25/Male/Straight

I think I was vagmatised for the whole of 2019. From the first day I slept with this babe, I knew I was going to die there. I don’t know how to explain it, but her vagina just felt… different.

Every other weekend, I’d drive from Surulere to Ajah, pick her and bring her to my place. Then I’d still have to drop her back that day. She never slept over. It wasn’t until it ended that I realised how insane that set-up was.

Tolu, 27/Female/Pansexual

I was 17 in uni when my very homophobic friend and I became involved. She was insatiable as fuck and I didn’t mind. I was obsessed. We used to have sex for hours non-stop.

We even saw other people (read: men), but those relationships never became sexual. We were enough for each other. Even after her Christain guilt made her out me to our friends, I still ran back when she called.

Even after she took a break from us because she had found Jesus (again), I still went back when she wanted me. Honestly, I don’t know how I escaped that situation, but it ended after 2 years.

David, 30/Male/Straight

I’m not sure if this counts as being vagmatised because it was technically her ass, not her vagina, that hooked me for months. She was the first — and only — woman to allow me do anal.

It was amazing. I’d been wanting to try for years, but I never thought I’d meet a Nigerian babe that not only allowed it but seemed to prefer it. So, I asked her to be my girlfriend after a week.

That’s when I knew I was analmatised (is that it?). I didn’t even like her like that, but I was ready to try and make it work. We dated for 5 miserable months, but on the bright side, the sex was never less than great.

Ada, 26/Female/Bisexual

I think I realised I was vagmatised at about the 4th or 5th time I slept with my partner. I never thought it could happen because, I mean, I have a vagina too and I know my way around it. 

Now, I could spend the entire day eating her out if she’d let me. I even made her a table calendar that is filled with reminders of how great she tastes. Her vagina has made me corny.

Emeka, 27/Male/Bisexual

I was vagmatised by the first girl I had sex with. It happened while I was visiting my grandma in a different state. I was only 16, so sex felt like the greatest thing in the world at the time. I thought I was in love.

I knew I had lost my mind when I turned down the option of travelling out of the country for a chance to see her again. I lied that I missed my grandma and asked to be sent there for the holiday instead.

That was a terrible choice. When I arrived, she was no longer interested in me. I cried, begged and sent her plenty credit, but none of it worked. I still cringe whenever I remember how stupid I was.

Mary, 25/Female/Bisexual

I was vagmatised by my roommate in uni. She was the first girl I ever got intimate with, and I couldn’t get enough of her. We had sex almost every day and I still wanted more.

Up until that point, I was the babe that guys always chased and showered with gifts. With her, the roles were reversed. I was using my allowance to buy her clothes and food. She had a firm grip on my mumu button.

That’s why I almost died when she told me she was no longer interested in women. I didn’t have sex with anyone else for almost a year. I had to cleanse her out of my system.

Samuel, 26/Male/Straight

For as long as I can remember, my spec has always been women in relationships. That way, I know that after we’ve had sex, they can be going back to their boyfriends or husbands.

With the last married woman I slept with, the sex just hit different. I didn’t know when I caught feelings and started pushing for an actual relationship. I never told her to leave her husband for me, but I implied it.

She eventually ended things with me. I can’t say I’m fully over it, but I’m not nearly as pained as I was a few months ago. That being said, I would kill to have sex with her just one more time.

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 10, 2021

With almost two years of being in existence, Sex Life has grown while staying true to its goal of exploring the sex lives of Nigerians. In the last one year and five months since Sex Life was created, we’ve spoken to about eighty Nigerians who are at different places in their lives, with different orintentations, […]

prayer house
April 10, 2021

As told to Mariam I travelled to Ilorin for an exam last week and on the bus, I rode in, I met Yoma*. Somehow the conversation of faith came up, and she told me she didn’t subscribe to the Christianity practised in churches. When I asked why, this is what she told me: I grew […]

April 9, 2021

You’re at a job interview, answering all the questions and feeling yourself when the one person that hasn’t spoken throughout the meeting suddenly asks, “Why should we hire you?” If you’ve ever been in this situation and you didn’t know what to say, we’re sorry we didn’t write this earlier. Here are some of the […]

April 9, 2021

If you have ever considered getting into spoken word poetry and you did not know how to go about it, we are here for you. Just remember us when you blow. 1) Use burial music There is no spoken word performance without proper burial music. You might try to switch it up and use church […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

More from Inside Life

April 10, 2021

With almost two years of being in existence, Sex Life has grown while staying true to its goal of exploring the sex lives of Nigerians. In the last one year and five months since Sex Life was created, we’ve spoken to about eighty Nigerians who are at different places in their lives, with different orintentations, […]

April 9, 2021

You’re at a job interview, answering all the questions and feeling yourself when the one person that hasn’t spoken throughout the meeting suddenly asks, “Why should we hire you?” If you’ve ever been in this situation and you didn’t know what to say, we’re sorry we didn’t write this earlier. Here are some of the […]

April 9, 2021

If you have ever considered getting into spoken word poetry and you did not know how to go about it, we are here for you. Just remember us when you blow. 1) Use burial music There is no spoken word performance without proper burial music. You might try to switch it up and use church […]

April 9, 2021

Burner accounts are all the rave. Almost everyone has one but what is the appeal of a burner twitter account? Why are they so popular? We decided to ask a few Nigerians who own burner accounts why they own one and the answers are absolutely fascinating. Chukwuemeka, 23.Having a burner is scary because I know […]

7 Skills Conductors Have That Everyone Needs
April 8, 2021

Honestly, the don’t teach people how to be a conductor in school because you’d be unstoppable, a potential super villan and you might even unlock hidden parts of your brain. We decided to share this knowledge because you deserve. 1. Ridiculous parkour skills You know how conductors hop on and off buses at anytime? Imagine […]

April 8, 2021

The talking stage is the period of getting to know someone with the hope of it becoming serious. If you’ve been in one too many talking stages, and you’ve had enough, then this article is for you. Here are a few tips on how to escape the talking stage.  1.Tell them straight up that you […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X