What’s The Pettiest Breakup Story You’ve Ever Heard?

July 26, 2018
Breakups can be painful, messy or even easy. But nothing is funnier than when a  breakup is petty. We asked eight people what the pettiest reason they ever initiated a breakup up was and their answers left us in stitches.

“He didn’t used to tamba after using the toilet, and he refused to do it even when I told him about it, abeg I couldn’t deal” – Funke

“Every single time I sat down to play FIFA she’d interrupt me. I mean every single time. She clearly didn’t like me” – David

“She had a hugeeee head. I had never seen that kind of head in my life before. Like it was fine until I started thinking of marriage, I couldn’t allow my kids have that kind of head” – Steve

“She said Ghanian Jollof was better than Nigerian Jollof. I was already on my way out of the relationship but that was the breaking point” – Lanre

“He looked almost exactly like one wicked teacher that tormented me in secondary school. I tried to ignore it at first but the relationship ended after 3 months” – Morayo

“He ate too much. That one on its own wasn’t even a problem but everytime I was eating he’ll start begging for my food. Like he’ll finish his own and still beg for my own again. The thing used to frustrate me.” – Ope

“I didn’t like his sister. She was my senior in secondary school and she used to punish me all the time. The day I found out, we broke up shortly after, I didn’t want anything to do with any family that can have that kind of wicked person(the sister).” – Faith

“When we met he was team beard gang, on our third date he came to pick me up with a clean shave it was like I was looking at another person, I stopped picking his calls after that date.” – Anjola

Have any petty breakup stories? Share!

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X