The Travails Of A Lagos “Mo Gbo Mo Ya”

July 5, 2016

So you are minding your business, scrolling through Instagram during working hours (as you do) and you see another wedding hashtag:

Ayyyyy weekend rocks don set!

“Ahn ahn! Is that not our former neighbours aunty’s, cousin’s brother in law’s daughter with a man?”

Wawu! Small girl does your mother know you’re here?

“Ah see how she’s carrying her hand as if it’s paining her. Because of engagement ring?”

Na wa o!

You do some more amebo to find out aso ebi colours.

Which one is “pungent asexual turquoise” or “freckled pastel champagne” for goodness sakes! Ahn ahn?

Then you remember your cousin has one dress you can borrow like this.

We move!!

That day of the wedding, you open Youtube and start copying one look your favourite vlogger created.

#Facebeat #Yasss

You call your neighbour to help you take “unlooking” photos.

“I didn’t know anyone was taking my picture that’s normally how I am”

You and your crew arrive in grand style:

Baddest guys!

Only to see that there is entry tag.

God is this how it all ends? What a betrayed.

Then you recognise one of the bouncers from a wedding you attended last week (and the week before that and 3 weeks before that).

Look at God!

So you greet your guy and enter the place with confidence.

Kent stop me abeg!

Because you don’t want to look like you don’t have home training you only eat a little … of each option on the menu.

Balanced diet!

Photobooth dey? Time to give them your best poses!

#WeddingFlow #WeddingStyle #WeddingRocks #AsoEbiBella #HimHer2016 #WeddingGuest.

Then the live band packs their load and your favourite DJ starts to do his thing.

Gbedu time!

You gathering all the souvenirs you’ve collected:

“I must carry my load go.”

Then over the next one week you upload different pictures from the same event till the next weekend when you can do it all again.

Because every day for the guest, one day for the wedded.

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