How To Tell If Someone Hates You By The Christmas Hamper They Send

December 11, 2015
Christmas hampers are the ultimate tool for passive aggression. I mean, you just see the things in some hampers and you know the sender is trying to tell you to never contact them again. So, if you get half of these in a hamper this year,  you might want to stop disturbing the sender; because they don’t like you.

1. Fruitcake

Do NOT trust people that like raisins in their cake. Be wary of people that now send them as gifts.

2. Good Morning Cornflakes

Good Morning Cornflakes literally gets soggy at the mere sight of water.

3. Cowbell Milk

If they really liked you, they’d send you milk that actually gets diluted in water. Cowbell is not that milk.

4. Ajinomoto

Nah, if they hate you enough to send this, they might as well just sneak into your house at night and stab you.

5. Cabin Biscuits

See, everybody loves Cabin biscuits, but if it’s not that you’re resuming boarding school anytime soon, what’s the point?

6. Richoco

Milo or Bournvita, please. Anything else is really just rude.

7. Eva “Wine”

No really, what is non-alcoholic WINE?

8. Calendar

One question: WHY?

9. Glucose

Are you about to do inter-house sports? Tell that person to behave, please.

10. Top Tea

Really? REALLY??

11. Candles

They really just want you to burn your house down. Don’t trust them.

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