How To Tell If Someone Hates You By The Christmas Hamper They Send

December 11, 2015
Christmas hampers are the ultimate tool for passive aggression. I mean, you just see the things in some hampers and you know the sender is trying to tell you to never contact them again. So, if you get half of these in a hamper this year,  you might want to stop disturbing the sender; because they don’t like you.

1. Fruitcake

Do NOT trust people that like raisins in their cake. Be wary of people that now send them as gifts.

2. Good Morning Cornflakes

Good Morning Cornflakes literally gets soggy at the mere sight of water.

3. Cowbell Milk

If they really liked you, they’d send you milk that actually gets diluted in water. Cowbell is not that milk.

4. Ajinomoto

Nah, if they hate you enough to send this, they might as well just sneak into your house at night and stab you.

5. Cabin Biscuits

See, everybody loves Cabin biscuits, but if it’s not that you’re resuming boarding school anytime soon, what’s the point?

6. Richoco

Milo or Bournvita, please. Anything else is really just rude.

7. Eva “Wine”

No really, what is non-alcoholic WINE?

8. Calendar

One question: WHY?

9. Glucose

Are you about to do inter-house sports? Tell that person to behave, please.

10. Top Tea

Really? REALLY??

11. Candles

They really just want you to burn your house down. Don’t trust them.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 8, 2019

Black Friday deals are the best; you get to buy goods, gadgets and household items at the lowest prices. Although there have been many controversies about the origin of the term, Black Friday, many people are willing to overlook it in their quest to acquire quality items at the cheapest rate. Who doesn’t like awoof? […]

October 20, 2020

If the president is not moving fast with police reforms, we can submit a petition to the National Assembly. 24-hour Curfew Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu has imposed a 24-hour curfew on all parts of Lagos State as from 4 pm, 20th October 2020. He also added that only essential service providers and first responders “must be […]

September 2, 2020

Just tired of staying in the same place? Want to explore? We compile 5 of the best things we have heard about Calabar. 1. Richness in Culture Calabar culture is one of the richest cultures in Nigeria, varying from food, to dances to festivals and carnivals. You should give the city a visit. 2. The […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 25, 2022

Just three months to the start of the 2023 elections, the National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Senator Abdullahi Adamu, started a beef with the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC). It wasn’t about electoral violence or vote buying but rather a new feature of the 2023 elections. The APC national chairman believes Nigeria […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X