15 Things That Are Too True For Nigerians That Grew Up In The Church

April 27, 2016

1. Your first official bible:

The best.

2. When your parents ask you if you’re going to church as if you have a choice.

Why are you even asking?

3. When service starts by 9, but you’re out of the house before 7.

Na wa. Are we the pastors?

4. When you always had to join children’s church choreography.

In your mind you could dance oh.

5. Every church party, childrens’ food vs adults’ food:

Is it fair?

6. You, waiting to be old enough to finally go to teens church.

Can I grow already?

7. When you’re not praying in church and your mum looks over at you.

Hay God!

8. When you couldn’t start your Christmas celebration without going to church in the morning.

I want to eat rice na.

9. Your friends on New Year’s Eve vs. You and your family on New Year’s Eve:

Watch Night Service was not optional.

10. You, waiting for your parents to finish greeting the same set of people after church every Sunday.

Can we go biko?

11. How your parents react when you tell them you want to change churches:

No vex.

12. When you always had to attend mid-week services and night vigils.

So tired.

13. When your parents see you walking out of church before they share the grace.

Wahala.

14. The solution to everything:

The greatest,

15. When you finally move out but they still call you every Sunday to know if you went to church.

“Yes ma.”

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