13 Lies All Nigerian Children Have Told Their Parents

May 5, 2016

1. “Everybody in class failed.”

“I was one of the highest in class sef.”

2. “That teacher just hates me.”

“Ehn. That’s why he failed me.”

3. “Results aren’t out yet.”

Please God, don’t let them call and ask.

4. “The school said we should pay for…”

See free money.

5. “I don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend.”

Relationship? What is that sef?

6. “I’ve already finished my assignment.”

I actually mean I will do it in school.

7. “They didn’t give us homework”

I’m free.

8. “I’ve finished reading.”

…finished reading the first page.

9. “They didn’t have change.”

*folds money inside pocket*

10. “Yes, I went to church.”

“The message was very powerful.”

11. “I didn’t take the meat from the pot.”

*cleans stew from mouth*

12. “I didn’t see your call.”

“Are you sure it went through?”

13. “I’m not the one that broke it.”

Don’t look at me.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 30, 2021

As part of the anniversary celebrations in Nigeria, a month-long celebratory campaign commenced this November with activities to excite and delight consumers across the country, most recent of which is the Share A Trip With Coke campaign. This year, the Coca-Cola System in Nigeria, comprising Coca-Cola and its bottling partner, Nigerian Bottling Company, celebrates its […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X