For Every Nigerian Man Who Has Cheated On His Barber

October 14, 2019

The bond between a Nigerian man and his barber is difficult to quantify. It’s a beautiful synergy that takes a while to find, but once you do, your hairline becomes all the better for it. So, what exactly happens when the trust in this relationship is inevitably broken? Well, that’s why this post exists.

You got a little too comfortable

Like a typical Nigerian man in a good, uncomplicated relationship, you got too comfortable with how smoothly things were going. Your barber was consistently saving your hairline, but you foolishly started to wonder if there was someone out there who could make your shape-up even cleaner.

You found a new barber to try out

With your wandering eyes, you eventually spotted an exciting new barber – maybe his shop was closer to your house, or maybe you heard his gist from one of your guys. Like with most cheaters, the reason didn’t even really matter, all you wanted to do was experience something new.

You realised you’d made a terrible mistake

It didn’t take too long for you to realise you had made a terrible mistake. As his clipper pushed your struggling hairline further back into your head, all you could do was fake a smile and hold back tears, knowing only you were responsible for the mess you now found yourself in.

You started avoiding your real barber

After your fruitless affair, you didn’t have the liver to face your barber. Your guilt caused you to dodge his calls and avoid anywhere you could possibly bump into him. It was a rough couple of weeks, made even worse by the fact that your haircut was still janky AF.

You finally returned with your tail between your legs

After your hair finally grew back – taking what felt like an eternity – you knew it was time to return to your one true love. On your way there, you started planning which lie you’d tell to explain your absence, as well as the significant damage that had been done to your hairline.

You had to deal with the disappointment in his eyes

The moment you stepped in, you could tell your barber knew what you had done. You can still remember the mix of pity and disappointment plastered over his face, before he asked the rhetorical question that instantly filled you with even more shame and regret: “Wetin do you hair?”

You barber managed to fix what you thought was irreparable

After silently judging you for your indiscretion, your barber finally got to work fixing your hair. Before you knew it, what you initially thought was unsalvageable had been saved. You swore you would never cheat again, but as the Nigerian man that you are, that wasn’t the last time it happened.

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