For Every Nigerian Man Who Has Cheated On His Barber

October 14, 2019

The bond between a Nigerian man and his barber is difficult to quantify. It’s a beautiful synergy that takes a while to find, but once you do, your hairline becomes all the better for it. So, what exactly happens when the trust in this relationship is inevitably broken? Well, that’s why this post exists.

You got a little too comfortable

Like a typical Nigerian man in a good, uncomplicated relationship, you got too comfortable with how smoothly things were going. Your barber was consistently saving your hairline, but you foolishly started to wonder if there was someone out there who could make your shape-up even cleaner.

You found a new barber to try out

With your wandering eyes, you eventually spotted an exciting new barber – maybe his shop was closer to your house, or maybe you heard his gist from one of your guys. Like with most cheaters, the reason didn’t even really matter, all you wanted to do was experience something new.

You realised you’d made a terrible mistake

It didn’t take too long for you to realise you had made a terrible mistake. As his clipper pushed your struggling hairline further back into your head, all you could do was fake a smile and hold back tears, knowing only you were responsible for the mess you now found yourself in.

You started avoiding your real barber

After your fruitless affair, you didn’t have the liver to face your barber. Your guilt caused you to dodge his calls and avoid anywhere you could possibly bump into him. It was a rough couple of weeks, made even worse by the fact that your haircut was still janky AF.

You finally returned with your tail between your legs

After your hair finally grew back – taking what felt like an eternity – you knew it was time to return to your one true love. On your way there, you started planning which lie you’d tell to explain your absence, as well as the significant damage that had been done to your hairline.

You had to deal with the disappointment in his eyes

The moment you stepped in, you could tell your barber knew what you had done. You can still remember the mix of pity and disappointment plastered over his face, before he asked the rhetorical question that instantly filled you with even more shame and regret: “Wetin do you hair?”

You barber managed to fix what you thought was irreparable

After silently judging you for your indiscretion, your barber finally got to work fixing your hair. Before you knew it, what you initially thought was unsalvageable had been saved. You swore you would never cheat again, but as the Nigerian man that you are, that wasn’t the last time it happened.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X