15 of the Most Stressful Moments In Every Nigerian Child’s Life

1. When it’s Saturday and your mum starts listing all the chores you have to do.

This woman has begun.

2. When your parents join twitter (or snapchat)…and they follow you.

All church everyday.

3. When your mum gets home and you haven’t taken out the chicken from the freezer.

Leave me alone to die.

4. When you follow her out and she sees someone she knows.

2 hours after…

5. When you accidentally hang up when your mum is still talking to you.

Imma just do myself a favor and kill myself now.

6. When your exam results get to your house before you.

JESUS!

7. When you lie to your mum and she finds out.

I must be stupid.

8. When your mum starts going through your phone gallery.

NOOOOOOO! Don’t do it!

9. When you break a glass plate or cup.

Welp! Every plate is her favorite.

10. When you murmur after she just shouted at you.

I swear it was a mistake.

11. When they call a family meeting and you’re the only child at home.

What have I done this time?

12. When you see like 101 missed calls on your phone…from your mother.

Ugh!

13. When they call you into their room very early in the morning.

Is it not too early?!

14. When your mother calls your full name.

Nope. I cannot let her find me.

15. When your mum has a bad dream about you, and you know that it’s about to be a battle of holy water and anointing oil.

But…but…but…