If you won’t get a horse, then the next best thing is to stay permanently in your house. Because the truth is, there really isn’t anything important out there.
3. If your friends ask you to come and hang out, say no. Because fuel.
Fuel don cost.
4. If you’re in more than one relationship, now is the time to bring it down to one.
Maintenance costs have doubled.
5. Beware of the people that want to do you favors that require crossing Third Mainland bridge.
Do they mean you well?
6. When you’re driving and you encounter traffic. Get down and start walking.
But lock your car. You’re saving fuel.
7. It’s only been 5 years, but move in with the one partner you have left.
It’s efficient. And romantic.
8. Tell your partner: No more driving to fancy restaurants.
YES!
9. Stop spending money. Our forefathers survived on trade by barter.
We can, too.
10. You and the heat.
You should be one now.
11. Nigerian generator time used to be 7-10pm. Now it’s 8-10pm. Adjust accordingly.
Not even 10:01pm.
12. Whenever it rains, you already know not to put the gen on.
Use the breeze of God.
13. Quit any job that is more than 15 minutes away from your house.
Who needs a job?
14. Marry into a petrol wealth family…Alakija…Otedola.
It’s a by force thing oh!
15. Pray for Nigeria.
Fast. Pray. Light Candles. Say the Fatiha. Offer up Benediction. Dance. Do prayer of the faithful. Give sacrifices.
Being a Nigerian receptionist isn’t just about kitten heels and drab suits, you also need to learn how to treat everyone that walks into your office like trash. So, if you’re interested in this occupation, here’s a list of everything you’ll need to know to excel at your job. Be unnecessarily rude Take a minute […]
Nigerian traders in Ghana have being complaining of unfair treatment and the forceful closure of their shops in the country. The video above, recorded by a Nigerian trader in Ghana is a good place to begin. For the past few days, Nigerian traders have been appealing to the Nigerian government, claiming that their shops are […]
The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 39-year-old heterosexual man who was celibate for almost a decade before he got married. He talks about his wild sexual past and how he thinks that might be stopping him from fully enjoying married sex.
There’s only one African Giant and you know him. After his recent feature on the Pepsi Global Ad, we’ve decided to reflect on five times he proved to the world that he was the African Giant. 1. Winning the BET Best International Act… Twice As if winning the 2019 Best International Act at the BET […]
Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]
For unknown reasons, we gathered very real Common Entrance past questions to see if you’re smarter than the average JSS 1 student. There are 10 English questions, 5 Science questions, 5 Social Studies questions and 10 Mathematics questions in this quiz. Show yourself:
Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.
After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:
Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:
We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]
Are you a Nigerian Student? Are you in a relationship with a fellow Nigerian student? If your answer to these questions is “yes”, then definitely understand these struggles stated below The roommate that does not understand privacy You have been telling Cynthia about how bae is coming over for some private time since the beginning […]
Phillipine movies usually follow a pattern that has become obvious and annoying. Consider this list a documentation of that annoyance by once loyal fans.
Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]
Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]
In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]
Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]
Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
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