If you won’t get a horse, then the next best thing is to stay permanently in your house. Because the truth is, there really isn’t anything important out there.
3. If your friends ask you to come and hang out, say no. Because fuel.
Fuel don cost.
4. If you’re in more than one relationship, now is the time to bring it down to one.
Maintenance costs have doubled.
5. Beware of the people that want to do you favors that require crossing Third Mainland bridge.
Do they mean you well?
6. When you’re driving and you encounter traffic. Get down and start walking.
But lock your car. You’re saving fuel.
7. It’s only been 5 years, but move in with the one partner you have left.
It’s efficient. And romantic.
8. Tell your partner: No more driving to fancy restaurants.
YES!
9. Stop spending money. Our forefathers survived on trade by barter.
We can, too.
10. You and the heat.
You should be one now.
11. Nigerian generator time used to be 7-10pm. Now it’s 8-10pm. Adjust accordingly.
Not even 10:01pm.
12. Whenever it rains, you already know not to put the gen on.
Use the breeze of God.
13. Quit any job that is more than 15 minutes away from your house.
Who needs a job?
14. Marry into a petrol wealth family…Alakija…Otedola.
It’s a by force thing oh!
15. Pray for Nigeria.
Fast. Pray. Light Candles. Say the Fatiha. Offer up Benediction. Dance. Do prayer of the faithful. Give sacrifices.
A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a full-time housewife. She […]
We saw the chaos Maduka Okoye caused on the TL the other day, so we’ve made a list of other AFCON players that’ll make you want to start watching football.
Apart from not being able to find shoes their size, tall Nigerian women often deal with comments like “you are too tall for that dress” or questions like “will you marry a short man?” In this article, Chigozie talks about how to be a tall girl in Nigeria.
Read here:
Remember when Styl Plus sang about Iya Basira stealing people’s destinies and putting it inside groundnut bottles? These songs had stories that had us going “WTF?”
Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]
Last week, we made a quiz that tested if you were smart enough to nail real Common Entrance questions. Now, we’ve taken it up a notch with real ‘Use of English‘ JAMB questions. It’s time to see if you’re smarter than the average SS 3 student. Take the test:
Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:
There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]
Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]
Are you a Nigerian Student? Are you in a relationship with a fellow Nigerian student? If your answer to these questions is “yes”, then definitely understand these struggles stated below The roommate that does not understand privacy You have been telling Cynthia about how bae is coming over for some private time since the beginning […]
Phillipine movies usually follow a pattern that has become obvious and annoying. Consider this list a documentation of that annoyance by once loyal fans.
Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]
Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
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